meet the robsons.

February photo a day, day 14

2012-02-14T18:28:00.001-06:00

Heart.

February photo a day, day 12

2012-02-13T17:58:00.001-06:00

Blue

this week in photos

2012-02-13T16:19:00.001-06:00

hey, on time. a miracle!

liam was on our bed playing with the sewing maching box. he'd roll his cars on it. he'd go fast and laugh because the cars were hitting the curves in the boxes. so i got the rebel out and took some upclose photos.

yeah...kinda went a little over board with those. trust me, there are more. i love his little fingers!

went to the dentist to get a filling refilled. they hope they can safe the tooth. i say pull it but if i can put off pulling it for a while i guess that is ok.

after the dentist we went to the mall. i love the new pretzel place there. had to have some despite the tooth just being filled. actually it think it was maybe an hour later when i ate. love the pretzel bits and nacho cheese!

had the stomach flu this week. i thought it was food poisoing but i think it is now the stomach flu. eric was sick last night. he thinks it was what he ate...yeah so did i dear but.....lol

and there is nothing like this little man when he eats anything sweet.

February photo a day, day 12

2012-02-12T16:41:00.001-06:00

Inside my closet

he grows. 2011

2012-02-12T16:26:00.000-06:00

February photo a day, day 11

2012-02-11T16:55:00.001-06:00

Makes you happy.

February photo a day, day 10

2012-02-10T16:48:00.001-06:00

Self portrait.
Not feeling good so im hiding myself. Dont know if it's what i ate or the flu.

February photo a day, day 9

2012-02-09T08:56:00.001-06:00

Front door.

a couple of layouts

2012-02-09T08:51:00.002-06:00

some layout lovin'!

i'm so happy in my life right how. i'm so thankful that God had blessed eric and i with liam. oh my gosh that boy is the biggest thing in my life. after september i realized i want to document more. remember more. so i am trying to remember more to put in layouts. it is one reason why i am doing project life. i usually love to add a lot of embellishments and such. i love the ones i see that have really cute stuff on it, but mine will contain more pictures and more memories. i will add some embellishments here and there but i mainly want to remember. i want liam to look back in and see what we did. what was in style. the stores. the clothing. the books he read. the people that were in his life. everything. even now he looks in albums with me and points to the people he knows. he laughs, smiles and claps. i want that for the rest of his life. i want him to smile when he sees how much he was loved by all of us. that's what scrapbooking is all about. i used to think it was about what i used to put the layout together, the pretty stuff. not any more. yeah, i still love allof that but i know now that it is more about what happened in our life instead of the paper and buttons i used.

February photo a day, day 8

2012-02-08T13:49:00.001-06:00

Sun.
It tried to come through.

this week in photos

2012-02-08T08:41:00.000-06:00

eeks...i am getting later on this..should be done on monday's to avoid any confusion. anywhooo, here is what happened last week.

liam got to meet his cousin, daisy. he got jealous when uncle steve would hold her. he would go up to him and whine, "pick me up" he would motion....he's a man's man and no girls are allowed, ever!

i tried this new cereal...omg...love!!!

at the beginning of the week we had our eyes tested. i need bifocals. at first i was like "ohhh i am old now." didn't really like the thought of it. but now that i have them i am so glad. i can read better. i can look at my phone easier. love them!!!

the mall had a boat/sport show over the weekend. they had a few atv's left over. so eric and liam decide to get on one. liam wanted to get on it over and over after that.

it was warm one day this week....i believe it was a tuesday. so we took the dude out so he could run around. he misses going outside in the winter. he is an outdoors kind of guy.

that's about it for this week in photos!
peace!

February photo a day, day 7

2012-02-07T20:01:00.001-06:00

Button.

February photo a day, day 6

2012-02-06T17:22:00.001-06:00

Dinner.

February photo a day, day 5

2012-02-05T10:05:00.001-06:00

10am.

project life, weeks 3 and 4

2012-02-05T09:45:00.000-06:00

finally. i finished week 4 last night...well did two things to it this morning so i guess it was today, right? i'm finding myself taking more and more pictures. love it! i got two different page protectors so i could have a variety to choose from.

here is week 3:

week 4:

February photo a day, day 4

2012-02-04T21:41:00.001-06:00

Stranger.

February photo a day, day 3

2012-02-03T16:34:00.001-06:00

Hands.

February a photo a day, days 1 and 2

2012-02-02T11:06:00.001-06:00

Day 1, my view

Day 2, words

Done with my phone so photos dont match days. Ugh.

and after that post...

2012-02-02T09:16:00.000-06:00

i saw this and it pretty much summed it all up!

so it has lasted more than a week

2012-02-02T09:10:00.001-06:00

usually after a bad panic attack i feel like crap mentally and physically for a week, maybe less. this time the mental part has lasted longer. i think about how stuck i am. how i haven't went anywhere forever. how this is going to take me so long to get over. how i've missed out on so much in my life. how people don't understand and judge. how i wish it would just go away. how i want to just go and not feel one ounce of anxiety or fear.

too many years. too many negative things. all have been drilled into my head. all have haunted me day and night. i think about how many people i have disappointed. how many lies i have told when people asked me to go somewhere. no one asks now, i guess word got around??? i get so tired of living like this. change then. yeah, so easy to say, not so easy to do. how do you just change? i want to change my thinking. i want to change a lot of things but i feel overwhelmed....where do i start? how do i start?

i stopped therapy for two reasons. one....there is no one to watch liam so he has to go with us. he will sit in there for a little bit but then he is ready to go. distracting. two...i couldn't afford the book she wanted to work out of. now i can. i need to call her back and make an appointment. i think his sitter would watch him for an hour on mondays, it's just explainging why. i don't want to have to say..."i go to thereapy for anxiety." if had fears that what if people find out about my agoraphobia and try to take liam? especially after he had his appendix out. i'd give anything to be able to go anywhere. i wish i could have been up there. last night i asked eric if anyone was mad at me because i couldn't go. he asked what brought that up. i said from time to time i think of these things and since my anxiety has been up lately i thought about it. i mean, how can anyone not understand and be mad because the mother of this sweet hurting child can't be there????

i wish i had answers to all of it. i wish i could explain to where anyone would/could understand. i wish i didn't have to explain anything or go through this for that fact. i said last night "why was me? why did this happen to me?" i used to be able to do so much now..... i'm starting to think about how liam is getting older and will want to do things. how in a few years he may be playing baseball (that is up to him but i am sure he will want to) and how i will want to go to these games. not everything is in town. the more i think about it, the more discouraged i get because i have so much work to do. so much to work on.

i know i need to look at all of this as a want to get over this and i do. that is why i started therapy. at times it just seems so overwhelming. it's like this huge mountain that i have to climb. that no matter what direction i take to get to the top, i get distracted by down trees, poisonous flowers, deadly animals like bears and mountain lions....all stop you in your tracks and make you rethink if climbing this mountain is worth the fight.

how do i climb it? i do i fight off those animals? how do i not take the wrong way so i don't end up at the beginning and have to start the climb all over?

this week in photos

2012-02-01T17:27:00.000-06:00

yeah, i am a few days late on this. i also need to post week 3 and 4 of project life. hopefully that will be tomorrow!

liam loves balls! he has all kinds but he doesn't have a football or a basketball. i saw a basketball at walmart for 4.87. omg he loves it! here he is chilling in the recliner, eating and watching tv with his ball.

i went to starbucks and ordered a yummy bun and a coffee. got a sample of the new blonde blend. score!

i walked out of Big Lots to see this.....which one is mine????

and what did i get in big lots? i scored some great deals on stamps!!!!!

we both got new phones. ohhhh. my....god....these phones are awesome! it is the electrify by motorola at us cellular.i got a case to protect it from liam!

ugh...the laundry is piled high! washed just needs folded. yes...i got it done. :)

we got a new bed set. happy!!! and new pillows too. nice and comfy, i never want to get out of bed! :)

i got "the message" bible. it is so much easier to understand. love it!

that's it for this week. well...last week. hope to get project life caught up! :) week 3 is done, working on week 4.
peace!

able to breathe

2012-01-28T08:32:00.000-06:00

what a week this has been. sunday wasn't good. i had a bad panic attack at walmart. the meds i had been taking for my cold/sinuses/cough make my anxiety bad. we ran over a bolt and had to get the tire fixed. now this is where i work. i know lots of people so why did i panic? i have no idea other than the meds affecting me bad. so i stopped taking them and i'm still getting better. i knew the meds would do this but how can you get over what i had without taking them? slowly but surely i am feeling better from both. it takes a few days from the memory of that attack and for the meds to get out of my body, then i'm good to go! usually after a bad panic attack it takes me a good week to feel good again. i get the "what if's" going through my head. once the memory leaves so do the what if's. anxiety and panic suck. that is all there is to it.

this week we got our taxes back. much needed. i can sigh a HUGE sigh of relief. we now have a good cushion in the savings account. i wanted to do that last year but since we had to buy a car we couldn't. but this year we can and it feels great. my hours are getting cut at work. eric's aren't any more. they were once. this week i have 16 and the next 2 weeks, 25. i don't worry too much since we have the money but i don't want to spend the savings money unless we have to. i'm not sure when the hours will go back up but it isn't too bad of a cut for me at 25. 16, ohhhh yeah!!! it is so nice to feel this relief. we have struggled since we were off when liam had his appendix out. but now we are good and it feels great!

there is so much i wanted to write this week but i haven't felt like doing it. a lot going through my mind but it's the usual that goes through after a bad panic attack. this attack was so bad that i don't remember a few things that happened. haven't had that bad of one in years. all i know is that i am so thankful to have eric and liam. they keep me going in times like this. they are my rock. love them so!

this week in pictures

2012-01-23T13:37:00.001-06:00

well this week it was me that had to see the doctor.

me that got the meds and plenty of tissue.

the sitter suggested this to help since it really wasn't breaking up.

if it says on the back "do not take if you take meds for depression," it isn't a good thing for me. it makes my anxiety worse. i had been feeling jittery for a few days. yesterday we were driving and ran over a bolt. so we went to walmart to get it fixed. well let's just say that we didn't have a good time. a very bad panic attack happened. worse one i have had in years. so i have stopped taking the mucinex for now till my nerves quiet down. i am feeling better though.

we took liam to see the kansas city royals. a few baseball players were at the mall along with slugger. omg he loved slugger. followed him all over. he wanted to hug him so bad!!! he waited till the right moment, went up and hugged him and then ran back. so sweet!

one day i had a few hours before work, so i went to starbucks. had some yummy coffee and a blueberry muffin. love!

we went out to my parents. for the first time liam played the piano. he loved it!

a little pinterest love!

2012-01-22T12:04:00.001-06:00

since monday's are now devoted to "this week in photos," i think i will move the pinterest to sunday's or any other day that i feel like sharing really cool ideas! :) click on photos to take you to their owners.

i would love to have this in the house somewhere!

oh my goodness...how adorable is this photo? it's like the stork just stopped by! :)

'nuff said here!

i just love this!

totally love the color of this door!

and this...oh my!

i'd realy like to make this!

i need a new set of mixing bowls. these will work!

love the colors and design on this cake!

a few layouts

2012-01-20T07:30:00.001-06:00

it's been a while since i put some layouts on here. i haven't done too many lately but hopefully that will pick up. now a days i am doing digital scrapbooking layouts and also doing project life. i wanted to play with paper again but not all of it paper. project life is perfect for that! score!!!!

it's been a while but we took liam to an old sitter to play with one of his friends while we went to an appointment. they love playing together!

sometimes i work with the kits first and see what photos would go good with it. i found this photo of my mom with liam at his first birthday party.

and a little layout about how i want to start living in 2012.

that is all that i have done since the first. i think i will start on another one right now! :)

project life, week 2

2012-01-17T16:58:00.000-06:00

not much happened this week. we didn't do much since liam was sick. so just a single page, hope this doesn't throw me off lol.

i have so much fun doing this. you don't burnt out because you don't feel overwhelmed. becky....thanks for this. you rock!

this week in pictures

2012-01-16T09:18:00.000-06:00

i really love doing this. and it really helps with the project life album! :) i had a few printed off for my album. can not wait to put this week in there.

poor dude. back to the dr this week as he had the beginning of pneumonia. these pictures are from his 3rd dr's visit, 3 days in a row. no more shots just oral antibiotics to treat it. today he is feeling great!

i finished another book and in two days. this book is amazing...get it. read it!

love the way these trees look with the sunset behind it.

found a quote that i loved and made this.....photo was taken a few weeks ago but found the quote this week, that counts, right? :)

nothing like yummy brownies!!!

the kid loves ranch dressing. he hates high chairs and especially booster seats. don't put him in one...trust me!

and that's it for this week. take some pictures this week!

project life, week 1

2012-01-13T18:29:00.002-06:00

i finally got to this today. after a crazy week of my mom being in the hospital and liam having the beginning of pneumonia, i got a chance to work on it today. not sure if i really like using my handwriting on this. i usually use the computer for journaling but for this i will use my handwriting. i feel it would be more me if i did. this isn't about perfection, it is about our life. hopefully liam will be able to read my handwriting when he is my age. lol

the double page spread.

the left side.

the right side.

now to remember to turn my phone horizontal when i am taking pictures with it. lol

if you are doing project life let me know. i'd love to share this adventure with you!

what a week

2012-01-12T21:22:00.003-06:00

this week has been crazy. last friday my mom had a new artery put in her leg. she did wonderful. she is healing great and can go home when she is comfortable enough to. saturday we pick liam up from the saturday sitter and he is warm. "well anthony thought he felt warm. i didn't think he did." the kid had a 99.5 temp. a couple of hours later he is coughing bad and then a higher temp. so we head to the er. there it is 102. it is busy there of course. they put us in this room where they take people to talk to them about what is going on since there were no open beds. dr comes in and barely checks him. doesn't even look in his mouth. "oh it's a croupy cough." sent us with papers and off we went. monday still coughing and fevers off and on so we took him to the dr. dr examines him and says i think it is pneumonia. yeah. so he gets a chest xray and sure enough, it is the beginning of it. luckily we caught it in time and can do shots and oral meds.

so we had to take a leave of absence from work this week because we would have to take him to the dr for three days to get a shot each day. that is fine with me as long as we avoid the hospital. he hasn't had any fever since monday, it's now thursday. he's coughing is a lot better. he only got 2 shots because doctor felt oral meds would be enough.

nothing like the word pneumonia. that word always scared the crap out of me, especially now with a little one. he is doing a lot better. dr says he can go back to day care and isn't contagious. me...i have something. in between all of this i have caught a cold or something. throat isn't sore but feels huge. coughing. guess momma needs to take a little bit of care of herself, huh?

thinking of going back to work on saturday. we did take a leave till tuesday but the bills don't stop just because you do. thank god we should have our taxes at the end of the month. that will help out so much. we'll be able to breath again.

i just want to mention how great God is and how much He really does take care of me and my family. i am so thankful for all that prayed for mom and her surgery. God has listened and has blessed her with such a wonderful recovery. i can't stop thinking how great it is. my hope is that this is the last surgery on that leg. as much as we all have questioned what he is doing, i think it is. i think this time all is great and will continue.

this week in pictures

2012-01-09T23:09:00.003-06:00

i'm glad i started doing this. i can use this when i work on my project life album. it reminds me to take pictures. i've been talking a lot more and more of stuff that i want to remember like this....

oh how i would love to be able to buy women's shoes. but i was blessed with big and wide feet so i have to buy men's shoes. before i had liam i could wear an 11 women's if it was wide. now...no. i love all the colors of shoes. sigh....mens' shoes are boring.

i finished reading hunger games. can not wait to get the 2nd book. need to make a trip to the library to see if they have it.

ahh...nothing like a book store! i love hastings. being surrounded by books and magazines and music!!! love!

i love sunsets. my camera didn't pick up the 6 jet streams that was going at once. love how the sky comes to live with jet streams.

a much needed coffee on friday waiting for mom's surgery to get over. we had no idea it would take 8 hours. they bypassed her main artery in her left leg with an artificial one. she has complete blood flow in her leg now. her recovery has been amazing! go mom!!!!

they brought the arcade back to the mall. since liam loves balls we had to play basketball! grandpa robson is showing him how to put the token in. yeah...he caught on fast and kept asking for tokens. that's my boy!

eric decided to play the motorcycle game since there as a credit. i thought he was just playing on it. nope....

another end to another great day in my life.

hug someone day. i'm sure they need it.

live

2012-01-05T10:12:00.002-06:00

i decided that my one little word this year will be live. my life is a ton better than it used to be.....if i could just beat anxiety it would be perfect. i want to live the life that god intended for me to live. he gave me eric. he gave me liam. he gave me a new start in life. i want to live it. i want to travel. i want to go to places that i haven't been in ages or at all. i want holidays, birthday parties with my in laws. i want to get closer to his family. i want to take pictures of things other than what is around here. i want to be a normal person. do what i used to be able to do and do it.

i've been thinking lately what i need to do in order to start living. i need to know that the anxiety will always be there. i need to know that i can survive, i have so far, and no matter where i go, fear will not kill or harm me. i need to know that it is a learned behavior. i learned a lot of my issues from my past. the past is over, the future looks amazing. i have this little boy that we are blessed with. i want to take him places that he will hear about and want to go. i don't want to be left behind. i don't want to miss anything else in my life.

i know it is going to be a hard road. nothing is easy when fighting fear and anxiety. but with the help, understanding, love and patients from family and friends i can do this. i want to read more about it here. there is a blog that i read and the lady suffers from depression. she had an amazing post with so many responses. i know there are others out there. no one says much about it. it is a shameful, embarrassing disorder. "what do you have to be depressed about? you have....." "why are you anxious just going to ....." no one understands unless they have traveled that road. maybe if people read her blog and know that i suffer the same, maybe more people will understand. if you only know one person it is very hard to understand. if you know a couple, a little easier. but if you know there are thousands that suffer, you soon learn it is real and that the person can't possibly make this up. go and read her post from the 3rd if you read the above link.

i'm more determined to get over this it is just going to take a lot of time. you can't get over this overnight. you can't expect to go anywhere when you haven't went anywhere. you can't expect you mind to changet over night if it has been hearing negative for over 15 years. though the last 3 has been amazing and wonderful, there is still a lot of hurt, regret, shame that is in my head. i need to process it. let it go and go on. not easy to do. my ex was very mentally abusive. that doesn't go away over night. everyone thought he was this great guy..they never lived with him. living in the same house as i lived in with him doesn't help. i want to decorate it, repaint it. lots of things but money stands in the way. plus i hate that place so much that i just don't want to do anything with it. i wish we could move. i need to move on. he did. he left me with this crappy house. he isn't around to have reminders. though i don't think of him while i am in that house, haven't thought of him, the house still has him in it. it still has the room where i would cry myself to sleep when i felt so lonely. the tv get all of the attention. i would lock myself into my scrapbook room and create, it was my only way to get things out. i made layouts thinking that life was wonderful. if i put it with pictures and paper then it must be true, right? still the place where a lot of hurtful words where said. and maybe that is why the highway is so hard.

when we would get into the car i was already nervous. i felt i need to make him happy and i needed to make sure that no matter what i did he was satisfied with what i did. if i did panic he would holler. if i didn't go as far as i did the last time the look of shame and disappointment made me want to run and hide. i beat myself up. i told myself how bad i was. i told myself that i was no good. i told myself that he deserved someone better. i could go on and on with what i said but i think we all get the point. i had to make it to springfield no matter what. no one would could see us but i had to get there because once i did i would be a part of the family. yes, that was said.

i don't really want to go on and go about him, maybe i should to let things out but it's freeing just to be able to say that he is gone and that i don't have to be afraid any more. that now i have this amazing man that helps me. he understands. he sees my pain. only he sees the pain and the hurt when i have missed yet another christmas with his family. i feel this overweight body is storing more than fat. it is storing hurt, shame, regret, anger, fear, things i never let out. things i never let go of. i eat because i am scared. i eat because i am ashamed. i ate because i feel like i am a failure. even though i have all i want i still feel like all i said above because it won't go. i don't know why it is still there. i guess i don't know how to let it go because for 16 years all i heard was the negative. the bad. never praise. never any love. never any good. oh i know there were good times. but not when it comes to my anxiety. it's a different story.

about 6-7 months into our marriage, this is with my ex, my anxiety was the worst it had ever been at that point. i didn't know what was going on. i didn't know who to go to. in our small town there weren't doctors to help with anxiety disorder. so he told me that if i don't get help he will divorce me. that scared me. that tore me apart. divorce me becaues of something i can't help or control. because of something that i don't even know why it is doing it. what it is and where it is coming from. from then on the fight began to please him. to make sure he wouldn't leave. i tried and tried. nothing was good enough. he would yell. he wouln't talk...which is bad because you know something is bothering him. he would give looks and no mater what i couldn't do anything because i feared i would fail him.

i remember i had my wisdom teeth out. his mother came down to stay with me the night i had it because he worked till 2am. something happened years later, not sure what it is was. oh wait...yes i do. i wanted to go back to school. his mom had helped us with some money issues we had. and when i said i wanted to go back to school she flipped out. i had owed $800 to pitt state in tuition. she had paid that off. i wanted to go back to get my degree to make something of myself. well the one and only time i defended myself, i wrote and letter to her explaining how i felt. omg...he went off. yelled at me. said she came and helped you when you had your wisdom teeth out and you do this? i could never win at anything i did. i could defend myself and he sure as hell wouldn't defend me. when i miscarried his sister in law called and said that i needed to get over it because her daughter is going to have a baby and we need to support her. i was shit to this family. i felt it till the day he pulled out of the drive and left. how do you just get over all of this?

so there is a lot to my past that mentally affected me. so now i need to get a clearer mind. i need to let it go. and i have to a certain point. there are things that still haunt me. shame, guilt. anger. failure. and when you haven't been able to still get out there and travel those feels still feel alive and well. so....now to get it all lined out and out of my life because i am worth it. i always have been and i always will be.

if there are any typos, sorry...typed fast and let as must out as i could.

the simple things

2012-01-01T10:09:00.000-06:00

here is the first simple things for 2012. i hope to do this every sunday!

i love this photo i took on christmas. i tried to get some close ups of various toys. his hand...love!

won't you join us this year!

happy new year!!!!

2012-01-01T09:24:00.000-06:00

wow...what a year 2011 was. i grew as a wife, mother and friend. i learned more about myself. i watched a sweet two year old grow. i watched as he layed in pain. i realized that life is too short, enjoy each moment. i voiced my opinion more. i noticed it time for me to get a hold of my anxiety and live my life. each moment and experience i learned from. we all do. we grow rather it is fun, bad, boring or exciting. i look forward to seeing what 2012 brings.

i decided that my "one little word" for 2012 will be LIVE! i want to live the life i was meant to life. i want to overcome or at least tolerate my anxiety to where it doesn't not control me. i want to go places i haven't been in years. i want to be me. i am excited!!! i feel god gave me a chance to start over when eric and i got together. ever since then things have been going up and up. i've been the happiest i have been in many years. so i know he will help me achieve my goals and be with the ones i want to be with this year at holidays, birthday parties, get togethers and so much more! here's to 2012!!!!

i will put this week in photos in this post.

christmas morning! the tree all lit up! happiness!

the dude with his new toy and some new clothes!

we decided to go with us cellular after realizing we could safe more money and get better service in the areas i am wanting to go this year. here is eric playing with his new phone while waiting on our food at sonic.

a few months back i got an email from oprah about her new life classes. you could sign up to take them and get a free journal. mine came this week.

my title page for project life. i can not wait to start this!!!

my nephew and his wife are having a girl in the next couple of weeks. i love looking at girl stuff! found these two valentine onsies!

and the highlight of this week....liam put one of his plastic golf clubs in his pjs!

i tried to get him to hold up a sign and keep his santa hat on, this is the santa hat he has his pictures from the hospital in when he was born, but it didn't work.

this week in pictures

2011-12-26T09:23:00.001-06:00

a day late but that is due to christmas pictures! here we go!

the dude and i cuddled up in bed!

daddy had to work on christmas eve, so we had a little time together. first stop, mcdonalds.

then off to look around at some places. we stopped at our favorite store, hastings! dude loves to look at books there!

every year we get one of these from eric's grandfather. yum!!!!

eric got me a coffee cup. there was only one left, he couldn't wait becaue he knows i love these three works: live, laugh, love.

last week we celebrated christmas with eric's family. liam loves nutter butters!!!

i got some really cool stuff! this awesome necklace for the vintage pearl.

and project life, amber edition!!!

i ordered page protectors and they came on christmas eve!

now get out there and take pictures of your week!

merry christmas

2011-12-25T22:45:00.000-06:00

well today was a great day. liam did not wait to get up and open his presents.

just like me needing my coffee, he needs his milk first. it's ok buddy, i completely understand!

it's like it snowed outside or something with this look on his face.

you gotta love that smile!

daddy wanted to get him his own small nerf gun.

"oh the big one."

every little boy needs some army trucks, right?

i can play music!

we are going to regret buying him this i think.

yeah, he knows how to load the gun....

it's toy story right here in the living room.

love this shot!

merry christmas. time to play with our toys!

happy 2nd birthday, dude!!!

2011-12-21T08:49:00.001-06:00

my baby is 2 today. two years ago he came into our world and it has been one heck of a ride! i have learned so much as a mother and i am still learning. he is just a blessing. this year our world was rocked by his appendix rupturing. God watched over him and he is healthy today. though as i type this he is fighting a fever, the worst is behind us. i know that God has his hand on him and always will. after all he is our miracle and God won't let things happen to miracles, right!?

things the dude loves:
dancing. i love it when certain commericals come on and he gets right up from what he is doing and dances. i have to get this on a video!

donuts. the hostess kind. he has to have two small donuts for each hand. perferably chocolate. powdered ones are the thing of the past.

cars and balls. give him either one and he is content! he has loves throwing balls since he was 10+ months. maybe a future baseball player???? i hope because by the time he graduates i will be close to retiring. omg....did i just say that. off to cry now...feel so old!!!!! lol

bread. any kind will do.

sponge bob, diego. he loves cartoons. sponge bob was the theme for his birthday.

chilling with daddy. he is such a daddy's boy. he loves sitting on daddy's lap and watching tv.

playing catch with momma. yay...something with momma! it is sometimes very rare. lol

the mall. he loves to throw pennies in the fountain. he throws a fit when we pass it and we can't stop.

reading. he loves to look at books and have us read to him.

drawing and coloring. he has an artistic side. he loves to draw and write.

he has a lot of words he says. he is starting to repeat more and more. though right now everything is no. that is getting better though.

i look forward to what this year will bring. i know it will be more happiness, learning, and love. i cherish each and every moment!!! love you little man!

2nd birthday

2011-12-19T12:49:00.000-06:00

i think i have said this a hundred times in the last week, "i can't believe the dude will be 2." time sure has flown by.

the day he was born. the happiest day of my life. one day that i never thought i would experience but with god's blessing our miracle was here.

here he is last year at his first birthday party with grandma tilley.

and yesterday, the 18th, his 2nd birthday party! he will officially be 2 on the 21st. i'm sure there will be a post on that day all about him! :)

sigh....does he have to grow up so fast? love you, buddy!

this week in pictures!

2011-12-18T20:35:00.001-06:00

what a busy week it has been!

we started off the week with liam getting his first hair cut. lots of photos on the last post but here are a couple more.

we stopped at the bank and guess who we saw....gus gorilla! liam gave him a hug and wished him luck for this week's championship game. did it work? :)

we haven't ate out much lately. but we did stop at mcdonald's for a cheap, fast meal. while at mcdonalds liam drank too fast and too much and lost all he ate that day. not fun!

since we got the oven fixed i have been dying to cook! so i made some pumpkin whoopie pies!! yum!

what a surprise to see this when i went to check my "myguide." by the way, they don't show people's full last names at work. it's a safety issue.

our university was on their way to florence, al for the ncaa dII championship, it was yesterday the 17th. friday this insert was in the paper. "bama bound!!!"

and did that hug to gus gorilla work???

yes it did! the gorilla's won 35-21. i listened at work. people thought i was nuts but a true fan doesn't care what others think. i was into the game...i didn't care. it was an amazing game!

since psu's graduation was the same day as the championship game, we had several cakes made up into the bakery. we took a few and wrote on them after the game. here is a cake i wrote on.

saturday night eric's family came into town so we could celebrate christmas and the next day liam's birthday. two of the gifts i got.....

sorry it is side ways. :)

tomorrow pictures of the dude's birthday. all of these were taken on my phone, i haven't uploaded the photos from today yet. have a great week and take lots of pictures!

1st hair cut!

2011-12-14T18:21:00.000-06:00

the dude had his first hair cut on monday the 12th. at first i thought he would sit in the chair. he liked it.

nope....didn't work.

he got a really cool cape!

had plenty of suckers on hand to keep him happy. well, somewhat happy.

oh my dude...you have lots of hair!!!

I'M NOT HAVING FUN!!!!!

ok...you are doing a good job so far.

bri....please say you didn't take all of my hair!

WHEN WILL IT STOP??!!!!

i give up. might as well get this over with...though i'm not too happy about this!

a little curl on the counter top.

seriously, is this over with yet?

hmmm...i look cute!!!

my hair cut has aged me 3 years.

the end.

pinterest monday

2011-12-12T08:52:00.001-06:00

i haven't done this in a long time, need to bring it back!

liam's 2nd birthday party is this sunday. the theme is sponge bob. so i searched on pinterest to see what i could find for ideas. i think the guy is a little too involved to do so i will definately stick to cupcakes! i like these two cakes though.

love this pillow.

i would love to have this in the living room above the couch!

this would be fun to put somewhere. we all need some of it. :)

isn't this bird gorgeous?

LOVE this doorway!

next year i am doing elf on the shelf. this would be so fun to do!

and this would be fun to do with liam gets older.

i'd love to make a boyish one of these. the dude loves pillows!

and that's it for this week!

this week in photos

2011-12-11T09:15:00.001-06:00

ahh, love my new phone. this one will allow me to use the usb cord to get photos off my phone. old one made me email them. not fun! so, hopefully a lot more photos to share on sundays! :) plus, i hear that instagram is coming to android! cue angels singing!!!!

this kid loves pudding and if you don't watch him this is what the result is....

he is growing so fast! hard to believe that he will be 2 on the 21st!

i love ribbon candy. we used to get it at the farmers market. i found this at walmart, $1.98 for a box. good but not as good as what we used to get. :)

i follow starbucks on twitter. they had a sale on their packages of instant coffee. score!!!!

liam had his picture taken with santa. i took a picture of the picture...too lazy to scan it. haha

this isn't new, found this while going through photos on my phone. he'll probably kill me for this. oh well, don't stick your tongue out!

until instagram comes to android, i used mytubo and steamzoo to edit my photos. with this new phone i am going to love taking pictures on it. :)
peace!

this week in pictures!

2011-12-04T08:44:00.001-06:00

i tried to get a good picture of the "dottie balls" on the tree outside. to me this is a great fall picture.

i love the sky when it does this! used "mytubo" on my phone to edit the photos.

i need a new tony cup. how long has he been #14???

liam loves music. i let him listen to my head phones on my phone. ohhhh he loves it!!! no liam...no ipod for christmas, ok!

what is the difference????

the breakfast of champions! ha

my pitt state donut in honor of the game. we won and will be in the playoff game to decide who will go to the championship!!!

totally forgot about advent calenders till someone has mentioned it on facebook. had to get the dude one. he has no idea what it is about but loves the candy he gets out of it!

have a great week!!!

christmas cards or bust!

2011-11-27T23:51:00.001-06:00

so here it is almost midnight sunday night and i am wide awake....probably because i was sick on saturday and spent all of saturday in bed, plus sunday night. so with all of the sleep i am wide awake. bored. don't know what to do. kinda quiet in the house since everyone else is asleep. i did work with a few card templates that i got from becky higgins. not sure if i will use any of these or what.

i sure wish we could have gotten a picture with all of us looking at the camera, but with a toddler that spies the play ground..not going to happen! so which one of these do you like?

so thankful

2011-11-24T16:14:00.001-06:00

what am i thankful for today:
liam surviving his appendix rupturing. just a little under 3 months ago we were starting this rollercoaster of emotions. sitting at the hospital wondering what is wrong with him. but thank God he saved him from what could have turned out very bad. i am very thankful that his doctor was there on labor day. i believe she saved his life. the other dr never did any xrays. all weekend we sat and wondered what was up. god....what a very trying time for all of us.

for eric. i don't know how he puts up with me lol. he is so patient. so loving. so understanding. he saved me. for him i am truly thankful.

for my parents and in-laws. they are always there for us no matter what. very thankful for them and their love.

my job. though i hate it 80% of the time...ok..not that much lol, i am thankful to have a job in this economy. it may not be the ideal job but being apart of the walmart family is a good place to be. they took care of us while we were on leave taking care of liam. they helped us financially and with food. thank you store #72.

my friends. long and short. no friendship goes unnoticed and thanked by me.

my sitter. margaret is a wonderful sitter for liam. she is just amazing! so thankful that she is great and a block away! score!

my dogs. the poor things don't get the attention they used to since the dude came along. dottie sue and vinny mac have been with me for a long time. they are my furbabies through and through.

my beautiful, wonderful life. i am so thankful that God gave me what i needed in the chapter of my life. without what i have now i will be lost. everything is complete.

i wish i could explain

2011-11-21T18:57:00.001-06:00

i wish i could explain what anxiety disorder is like. what a panic attack is like. what having such depression that all you can do is stare at a wall with a numb feeling. but i can't. i can't compare it to anything. i've read a lot of book and websites and the only thing that comes close to explaining a panic attack is this:
imagine you are standing on a highway facing north. the traffic is going south. you see this semi coming at you. your heart starts racing. you start to freak out. you are numb. you want to scream but you are so afraid you can't. you shake. you sweat. you don't see anything else around you but that semi that is coming at you full force. you stand in place because you have no where to go. both sides are there to go to but you are lost. you are blinded by the lights coming at you. you think you are going to die. the way your heart is beating scares you more than that semi. the way your legs are so weak you can't run, walk or crawl. then all the sudden, right as it is in front of you it goes right around you. you live.

afterwards you are numb. you are scared to get on that road again because what if there is another semi that comes at you? what if this time it doesn't move and hits you? you are tired and want to take a nap because your body has just been through so much. you can't walk because you are tired. you felt like that semi literally hit you.

so one day you come to that highway. cars are going by. trucks. your heart starts to race. you start to get shakey legs. you start to sweat. you are afraid that a semi will come around the corner. so you turn around. you can't find out of a semi is there. it was too scarey going through what you did. i mean, you could have died. that is what a panic attack is like.

once you have one and another and another, you get to where you can't go to where you were because of the intense fear you feel. you don't want to feel anything that made you panic. no rapid heart beat. no sweating. no loss of breath. you avoid all the places you went that "made you panic." you blame it on those places. "well the mall did it. going into walmart made me panic." deep inside you know it wasn't the person, place or things but your mind doesn't. your has learned that those are the bad places. we can't go there because it will happen again.

once you have had this happen many times over half of your life, you just give up. the fear is higher than anything you want to do. the fear of another panic attack stops you. even your son so sick that you don't know what will happen can't even make the fears go away. the fears grip every being of your body. you have no control over it, so it seems. you are paraylized. what you once could do, that is so simple, you can't. you can't take a chance of dying on the highway. of dying in the car. of dying in walmart. you won't die but it feels like it. you think you will. the fear is intense. if i avoid it i will be ok and nothing will happen....bam...agoraphobia.

there is so much to explain but it so hard to. unless you have ever seen someone have a panic attack or had one yourself, you will never understand or know what they go there. do you know what it is like to go through chemo if you have never went through it? do you know what it is like to have to give yourself shots each day to keep your blood sugar normal? do you judge those people that lose their hair because of the chemo? do you judge the people that check their blood in front of you to make sure they are where they should be? then why judge someone with a mental illness? i would never expect myself to know what it is like to go through chemo unless i have to. for the ones that go through chemo or are diabetics, i would comfort them and let the know that even though i have no idea what they are going through, i am here for them 100%...even though i have no idea what they are going through. i would never say "oh you can't be weak because you just had a treatment...come on let's go." that is what people expect me to do though. they expect me to just pack up and go even though i have not left town in many years.

i had a very bad first marriage. i didn't realize my ex was verbally abusive till a therapist told me. i put a lot together and i am working on it. i am 100% better than i used to be but i am not completely healed. it's like a huge tumor that needs to be shrunk down. that takes time. that takes many steps, many rests, many tests, my ups, many downs but when you are finally healed, you are able to be you again. there was a lot that happened that i am getting over. he yelled at me when i was traveling. if i had a panic attack in the car he yelled at me. it doesn't go away fast. over the years you start to feel like you are nothing. that you don't matter to anyone. this was a good 10 years. you know how many times i cried myself to sleep thinking i didn't matter? it doesn't go away over night.

i could go on and on but i will end here. i just hope that one day people with anxiety, panic and depression are never judged on how they feel. that one day people will open up and accept them just as they are: a person just like them. we all have our faults. some just needs that extra love to get them to the person they need to be. have faith in them. believe in them. pray for them. love them.

this week in pictures

2011-11-20T11:10:00.001-06:00

need something to make me smile so here are this week in pictures!

i love crocheting afghans this time of year. here is my first one. picture makes it look a little off.

we got all of liam's toys into his room. happy times by all!

he used to hate hats, now he loves them. he found my ku visor and had to have it on! thankfully you can adjust, i mean really adjust it! :)

a future nascar driver in the making!

nothing helps four hours of sleep like coffee!

and the big surprise of the week.....white stuff falling from the sky! :( after getting 19 inches last year, i've had enough of it for a long time!

here's to looking ahead to this week for more pictures. something needs to help me get through it!
peace!

my voice

2011-11-15T23:20:00.001-06:00

i don't feel like i have a voice any more. this will go great with trying to get over the negative for this 21 day challenge. but this is on my mind and i can't sleep until i put this out there.

for the longest time i didn't really say what was on my mind. i had an ex husband that wouldn't let me. when i would try to say how i felt i got yelled out. i stopped and for years i held my thoughts in. i finally realized that what i have to say i just as important as anyone else. so now i do and it gets me more in trouble than just staying quiet. let's list somethings.

work. if i voice my opinion at work i am a bitch because i see what should have been done and wasn't. or how others need to work more. or how i clean an area only to have to torn to bits in a day. i have talked to members of managment and it is as if it just goes right over their heads. i can't stand the dept mgr. she gets by with so much stuff and blames it on us. i've wrote of this before so i won't go into detail here. so does my voice matter at work? no, it doesn't. at least it doesn't feel like it to me. i've tried to get out of that dept for a year now, well a year next month, and i am still stuck there. they don't care how their employees feel. people think i will always put stuff away in the freezer or clean up their shit when i get back from my days off. frustrating.

friends. an incident happend last summer. once again won't go into detail but i got hurt. they didn't see my side and what i said hurt them and that is fair to them. but not seeing my side isn't fair to me. we all decided to put it behind us and go on. we've been friends since high school, why ruin such a long friendship? i tried to keep in touch on twitter and facebook. i tried to my best to talk and not be pushy with things like rushing back into a friendship. so i find out that she was in town. yes, i got mad. i thought that maybe she would maybe make an attempt to work on our friendship. no. and so once again what i had to say about it was all wrong and i was "the victim." her words. yes..."stop playing the victim" she says. ok...so this shows me that if she didn't want to invite me to work on it and put it behind us that she really doesn't care about our friendship. but i could be wrong. so yeah, i got mad. i'm done with it. i am 40. i am tried of high school drama bullshit (sorry mom for the cursing but i am so mad). once i am friends with someone you can always count on me. i can't always go places but i will always be there to listen, help, anything to make that person feel better. i try. i am a shy person to things. if someone is hurting i try to slowly get to them. i don't want to come out and say something because if they cry i will get upset. but once i know what is going on i am there and want to and will help the best that i can. i am done with people that can't respect me and my feelings. a friendship isn't 20-80. it is 100%. it's all or nothing to me. to some i guess it isn't. but dammit, my feelings are just as important and i am not a victim for feeling that way! no one is. and if i have hurt you by what i say, i feel so freaking bad that i don't say anything because i don't want to say anything more to hurt you. i am a very sensative and emotional person. can't help it...that is how it is with me.

last may i had a text conversation with someone. they couldn't understand how i felt no matter how i tried to explain it. this person now doesn't respond to texts or anything on facebook. once again i had no voice. i had feelings but they were important either. only what they had to say. then i am left with wondering should i have said what i did because maybe they would still talk to me and answer texts.

i should never had to question my feelings. yes, sometimes people do get hurt. i am not great about expressing my feelings when i am mad, working on that. but no matter how i feel or what i say, it never matters. never. i've had people say hurtful things to me. over time i have forgiven them. take my brother for instance. i finally realized that life it too short. that we say stuff out of anger when we are in that moment. but some just don't see it that way.

so here i am going to thereapy to try to get over my agoraphobia and anxiety issues. and right now i am wondering why the hell i am even doing it. why am i trying this when what i do doesn't matter. how i feel doesn't matter. how i express myself doesn't matter. but to them, they are the ones that are right. they don't see the pain the others are in. they see them. they see what they want to see and nothing else. will it be the same with my recovery? will it matter if i go here or there? right now i am judged on it so how will that change once i can travel? will i be a much better person to talk to becaue i won't be considered some freak?

so yeah, i guess i am a victim if i can't say how i feel. my voice is trappd in my body because god for bid i say something that may hurt someone but they sure as hell can say what they want to me. yes...that is a victim. because people like them won't let others have an opinion or feeling or voice. they let what they say count as what should go. so you made me that victim.

i have been known to say things when i am mad. and as soon as i say it i appolize because i knew it was out of anger and not from my heart, what i was truly feeling. but if i don't appolize it is because that is how i truly feel and if you don't respect that then why do you want to call me a friend?

so i learned once again tonight. i learned that those who really know me will know that is how i truly feel. those who don't will take it and run with it for all they can. so i now know again who my real friends are. if i say things that hurt you i will make it up to you. it won't be over dinner and a movie, but talking and being there and listening. i'm not perfect. no one is. but i will be dammed if i will let any one else tell me i am playing the victim. i will not let people not let me have a voice. ever wondered why i am so quiet? because i am too afraid to talk that what i say you may not agree with.

i have so many mixed emotions right now. it's not fair what "family" won't even talk to you any more because of a damn tornado.

i want to talk about when liam was in the hosptial and how i couldn't be there due to agoraphobia but i can't . people won't understand. they will judge. once agian my voice is held back. people wondering why i wasn't there. if i told you, you wouldn't understand anyways.

ending there because i am mentally and emotionally drained.

21 day challege, day 2

2011-11-15T18:18:00.001-06:00

today was sort of a trying day. i get to work and where i cleaned very well saturday was trashed again. it is so frustrating when others will not work to help make the department what it should be. so i tried to remain positive. i kept telling myself that i am not going to clean it this time and i won't. others need to take responsibility. it isn't my job to make sure they do, so i will do my job and that is it. i know i do a good job. if they aren't happy then they should look for something else and make room for people that want and need to work. it isn't me, it is them. and i will not continue to work my butt off while they don't do much of anything. until our manager starts acting like a manager, though that won't happen because i have wanted out of this dept since december of last year because of her and i am still there. i won't do more than my share any more. if others can't do at least their job, then i am NOT working my job and their's so they can do nothing.

at lunch the sitter calls and says that liam's tube is showing in his ear. things start going through my mind. but i stop them. mainly one of them is "oh he may have to go to wichita." no, he won't have to rhonda. it is just a tube in his ear that they put in here in town. i did remain calm. and all was well when we saw the dr. his tube is in the canal. we just have to wait for it to fall completely out. all looks great in his ear! i ask the dr if he gets more ear infection if he will have to have tubes again. yes. but i remained positive and told myself that i will not worry. if it ever happens it will. i can't stop it.

slowly but surely i will get the negative talk out of me. it is a trying process but it will happen. not over night but soon. i need it not only for me but for my for my family, especially liam. i can do it! i know i can and will!

21 day challenge!

2011-11-14T18:52:00.001-06:00

i love rhonna and her 21 day challenges. after today's appointment i realize i need to stop talking and thinking so negative. so i will work on that for 21 days. here is day 1's quote:

i need to stop the negative and think more positive. i have so much on my plate than i ever used to. so much more to worry about. so with all the added into my life i think a lot more. and with more thinking comes negative talk. "will we be able to eat if i...." "i don't know how we can make it any more." "i can't do this. i am not strong enough." "am i really a good mom and wife, i mean look at me." i could go on and on but i think we get the point.

so from now on any negative that comes into my head i will replace with a positive. if it gets so bad i will journal about it or put it on twitter. some how i will get it out.

click on rhonna's name above if you want to learn more about it and join! you will be glad you did!

this week in pictures

2011-11-13T08:20:00.001-06:00

when it is warm enough to go outside we take him. he needs his outside time, trust me on that! well we all do. we all get tired of being in the house. i'm dreading winter lol.

he now will grab the covers while we are changing him and go "boo!"

love this picture of these two leaves!

what did we do on 11/11/11? we had to work a short shift but before work we went to the deli and got deli dogs!

i love the small of "frosted gingerbread" through out the house!

i hope to do this every sunday. it helps me to want to take more photos, which i really want to do!
have a great week!

layout share and what i made from pinterest!

2011-11-11T08:50:00.001-06:00

first layout share time!!! i don't think i have ever posted this layout:

made this one this morning:

love this one!

another one i don't think i ever posted.

some kits just scream fun!!!

now on to pinterest. i love pinterest. there is so much i want to make from there! i saw the frame at a flea market for $3. i had to have it! the flowers are from walmart that came in a bunch for $5. the wreath itself from a flea market for .50. the shelf from a rummage sale for .75. and i came up with.....

when i decorate for christmas i will hang some garland. this is above our couch. liam at 2 months. us last year and a quote. love it!!! off to find more stuff to dream about! :)

monday pinterest

2011-11-07T08:30:00.000-06:00

with a monster energy drink next to me, hoping this helps after yesterday (not a good day at all), i bring to you monday pinterest!

i'd love to make a shirt like this!

love this picture!!

love this door!

i've been crocheting lately. love all of this yarn!

i need a couple dozen of these! :)

how adorable is this baby?

i love this cake! oh my!!!!

must go get some of these prints!

family photos

2011-11-02T08:18:00.001-06:00

last year liam's sitter took our family pictures, i asked her to do this year's as well.

2010:

this year:

what a difference. little man has grown so much, and so has my hair. :) here are some more from the photo shoot.

our family of 3. total happiness and totally in love!

halloween night!

2011-11-01T19:27:00.002-06:00

we finally found liam a costume. let me say that next year i am starting early and will be looking online because finding something in this town for a toddler is next to impossible! we found him a cute little vet costume. it was perfect. everyone get a kick out of him. we went to one assisted living home that a friend recommended because her niece works there. the only bad thing..."oh what a cute little girl. she needs some m and m's." yeah, the dude needs a hair cut but that i am working on. i'm not ready to cut that hair yet. it fits his personality. it's who he is.....a wild and crazy kid!

happy halloween, dude!

pinterest monday

2011-10-31T08:02:00.000-06:00

i think today i will post some great quotes/prints.

simple things sunday

2011-10-30T07:50:00.000-06:00

earlier in the week we went to the park one last time before the cold hit. i know we'll be going during the colder months when it is warm, but i wanted to get out and let liam play. i love this shot of him swinging.

what simple thing do you have from this past week? join us by clicking the button below.

all is good!

2011-10-25T08:22:00.004-05:00

after all that has happened this last 6 weeks, this quote says it all:

and how true it is!

i didn't know how much strength i had in me. the last 6 weeks made me see that i am strong. that i can have faith, believe and all will be ok. that i can survive. that all will be ok. i am stronger than i think. anxiety disorder doesn't let you think that. it makes you think you are weak. but i proved it wrong. i won. you have to be strong for your child. you can't let fear take over when they are air lifting him to another hospital 3 hours away to figure out why he is so sick. you have to be strong. even if you can't be there you have to be strong. strength isn't just for them it is for you also. you have to remain healthy and well to be there for them. you have to believe and have faith. you have to pray. you have to let others that know what they are doing take over while you sit and know that all will be ok. you can't do any of that if you don't have strength.

praise God that liam is healthy and strong today. yesterday he had his appointment with the surgeon and all is good! he is back to his old self and i could not be happier! he was a miracle when he was made. a miracle that entered our world on december 21st, 2009. god knew we needed him. i knew god would protect him. and now we move on. we put this behind us and know that god is in control and will be there with us to keep is strong!

recent layouts

2011-10-24T14:47:00.001-05:00

i've done some scrapping in the last couple of weeks. here are the layouts i have done. nothing like scrap therapy! :)

hmmm, i thought i had done more lol. now i need to buy some more ink to print them off and put them in the album. i love digital. i don't know if i could ever go back to paper. i love all of the papers and elements too much to afford going back to paper. but who knows...maybe one day!

pinterest monday

2011-10-17T09:06:00.003-05:00

finally....another pinterest monday! i missed doing it. now that life is back to normal, i want to start this up again! i enjoy sharing what i see. maybe i can inspire others???? remember, click on the box to go to the owner of the picture.

these coasters would be fun and easy to make!

christmas is coming...i'd love to have this with liam's name on it!

i love this picture!

i totally have to make these. doesn't this look like heaven??? oh my!!!

and this is just too cute!

and these are totally gorgeous!

i want to give a present to someone like this!

and last...i'd love to have a room like this. just like it!

i love a parade!

2011-10-15T13:40:00.001-05:00

we took liam to the homecoming parade this morning. i was totally excited! i haven't been to one in years. i love parades!! here he is on the way to the parade.

while we are waiting for the parade to start. it was pretty chilly out. about 45 when we went to the parade. warmed up some and then the wind started in. :(

he clapped at the bands and things he loved. he also waved the people that were waving to the crowd.

him and daddy.

he got some candy. some would put it on his tray. the little girl next to him would give him some of her's.

what i thought was pretty cool was that some of the football players that won't national championship in 1961 was there. that's awesome!

that's all! next parade is the christmas parade! burrrrrr.

the pumpking patch!

2011-10-10T17:36:00.000-05:00

yesterday we took liam to the pumpkin patch. he's still a bit too young to enjoy it but he did love feeding the animals and the corn pit. here are some photos from yesterday.

"do you think those goats will eat my hand?" "i don't know. they look kinda funny to me."

"i'm this tall."

"no. no. no. i hate this corn."

"whoa...the corn is awesome. i was totally wrong about it."

"i think it may be time for a hair cut."

"next year i am going in. oh yes i am!"

ready for work!

2011-10-09T09:54:00.001-05:00

tuesday we return back to work and i am very ready. what a 5 weeks it has been. we are all ready for our routine to be back to normal. even though i hate the department i am in, i am ready to go back and put all of this behind us. liam is getting stronger all of the time. his eating is much better. we are giving him probiotics to replace the good bacteria that his stomach lost through all of the antibiotics. he has more energy and more life! he is recoverying wonderfully!

one day i want to write about all of this. how trying it was. how scary it was. how frustrating it was when we had no idea what was going on. all of it a nightmare. but thank God He took care of us and liam and all is great now. as a mother you worry about one thing and another, it never stops. my mind has been a whirlwind of emotions. each day is much better for me. i am a worrier. i always have been. now it is like 10 fold. i worry if he is drinking enough. i worry if he is eating. in fact sometimes i am obsessing about it. i am not eating well myself. i haven't ate well since all of this began. work will help me. i need the routine. i am not one to sit at home. one or two days and i go stir crazy but over a month? eeks...not good for the mind, especially mine.

i am very thankful that liam is doing so well. for a while i was like, "what else will happen?" you can't think like that. you never know. and if nothing ever happens it is needless worry for nothing. easy to say and sometimes very hard not to do. i'm putting my faith in God that He will watch over liam while we are at work. i know there is nothing else that will go wrong. he is strong, healthy and growing like a weed. this was just a bump in the road that happens to all of us. God takes care of us. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. all is going to be ok from here on out, i know it.

now...back to work and back to what we know, our routine. we all need it. liam needs to be back in daycare with his friends. to socialize. i need to focus on something besides him, i'm sure he can feel my stress and i am pretty much begging him to drink something. i need to talk to people, socialize myself. i'm ready. bring on tuesday!

simple things sunday

2011-10-02T09:02:00.000-05:00

this is great to get back to. with so much going on last month i miss taking pictures. i took a couple at the hospital but they are hard to look at. i do want to scrap them but i will in time. here is my simple thing for this week.

since liam has been home we have been going for walks at least once a day. sometimes twice a day. i noticed out shadows and love this photo.

what is your simple thing? click on the link below to join us!

so strong

2011-09-30T13:50:00.001-05:00

this kid is so strong. you wouldn't know that two weeks ago tomorrow he had his second surgery within a weeks time. he is more independant now. he only wants your hand if there is a big step or if he is unsure about where he is walking. the scab is coming off. it is close to half off now. he is sleeping better, except for last night. he didn't each much dinner and i think he was hungry. i still worry some but it is getting better. i take his temp each day during his nap, which is anywhere from noon to 3pm. no temp at all since he has been home. thank you God! he is still taking antibiotics. i think maybe by sunday he will be done. i thought today but there is still quite a bit left.

i started therapy for my anxiety and reading "when panic attacks" by david burns. i am going to get over this. i am not going to let fear tell me what i will do each day. i'm about half way through the book and i have learned a few things that are really beneficial to my progress. i'm excited. i can't wait to go out and do things with eric and liam. God is great. i know He will help me go over this!

getting better!

2011-09-29T12:44:00.002-05:00

liam is doing so great! i can't believe the difference in him from the first time he came home. he is back to being full of life! i love seeing it! i am still a bit worried about something going wrong but each day that goes further and further away. sometimes if he is fussy or crying because he didn't get his way, i wonder if it is more than that. ex....yesterday he was hungry but also wanted to go outside. so we put him in his stroller and we sat on the porch while he ate. that made him happy! he wants to go for walks in the stroller a lot. today we walked by the fire station. he wanted to go see the trucks but i didn't know if the firemen would be ok with it or not. as we started to walk away liam threw a fit. one guy said it was fine that he looked. he held up his arms to another fireman that showed him things. he even sat him in the truck. after that he walked around a little bit inside and then outside. finally he was ok to go. all his timing i tell ya!

work has been wonderful with food and monetary donations. we appreciate what everyone has done, especially the thoughts and prayers. i am so grateful for our family and friends.

and we're back!

2011-09-26T13:27:00.001-05:00

what an emotional 3+ weeks it has been. liam started getting sick on august 30th. throwing up, fever, diahhrea. we thought it was a virus. we went to urgent care on the 30th. er on the 31st. dr on the 1st. and back to the er on the 2nd. he was then admitted so we could try to figure this out. monday the 5th he projectile vomited. the dr ordered a stomach xray. there was so much gas in his stomach that it was hard to see, she thought a blocked bowel. off to westley medical center he went via helicopter. watching your child leave via helicopter...hurts like hell!

this was 8pm'ish at night. the next day they did determine his appendix had ruptured. he stayed for 10 days only to go back 2 day later due to an abcess. he was in for another week before he finally came home.

i tried writing this when he came home the first time but it was too hard. i'm leaving out some because some was scarey, like water on the lungs. for a person that has agoraphobia and can't travel, having your baby 3 hours away is another hell in itself. i've never experienced so much pain in my heart in my life. i hope i can write more about that as of right now still not possible.

today he is home and doing so great. he is playing, eating, walking, all the stuff he barely did the first time he was home. i'm still a bit nervous but that will go away in time as he heals more each day, my anxiety will lessen i know.

i can not thank my parents, eric's parents, our entire families, our friends and work for supporting us and praying for us. without everyone's help we would have crumbled. i wish i could write more but i just can't right now. in time i can. life is slowly but surely getting back to normal. thank you God!!!! He did it all!

ugh, really?

2011-08-31T21:52:00.001-05:00

this week did not start off well. we were excited to be on the remodeling team at work, that is about the only good thing that has happened so far. monday we had to put our cat kali to sleep. she stopped eating dry food about 1.5 weeks ago. i thought maybe it was her teeth. she was an older cat, approx 15 years old. so we went to wet food. she ate that good till saturday. she stopped eating it. we thought maybe the dogs were getting to it before her. sunday she would barely move. she would drink water and milk but that was about it. monday when we left for work she was barely moving. her face pretty much laid in the milk i put in a saucer. at lunch we went home to check on her. we thought she was already gone. she was laying in liam's room on her side face up. she was barely breathing. we decided to take her to the vet and let them put her to sleep. we didn't know how much longer it would be. we didn't want her to suffer. we didn't want her dying and laying there no knowing what they dogs would do. i don't think they would hurt her but....

things i remember about her that i loved. she would lay on my back or side while i was in bed. she stopped that a few years ago. but she had to be up there by me, on me. i loved hearing her purr in my ear. she would give dottie, our dog, "kisses." she would lick dottie's head and nose. dottie loved it. she would close her eyes and have this smile on her face. i would say "kali, give dottie kisses." and she would go over and lick her. sometimes if she got close to dottie, dottie would rub her nose against her as if she was saying "i need some kisses." and usually kali would give her some. we think dottie knows she is gone. she was a good, loving cat. she didn't come out when we had company. she did keep to herself a lot. we got a sympathy card from the vet today. i cried again. i so miss her.

oh and....she had a "w" on her forehead lol.

next...liam got his first bad cold/flu. he started with a cough on monday night. nothing too much on tuesday will we got home. we took him to quick care where they said his throat was red. his temp was 100. so we got some antibiotics and were on our way. he threw up three times last night but thankfully nothing today. today he has ran a fever off and on. the highest up to 101. he doesn't eat much but he does drink and has wet diapers, thank god! i'm not sure if we will go to work tomorrow or not. i am dealing with some sinus stuff myself. throat is a bit sore. not sure if we have the samething or not, though he is worse off than me. so we rest up and get lots of sleep.

eric's family found out that his grandmother has cancer in three places. she will talk to the oncologist next wednesday to see what that game plan is. the cancer on her lung is inoperable. my dad needs to get a biopsy done of his prostate. the numbers are higher than they should be. he is being stubborn and doesn't want to get it done.

seems like a lot at once, huh? not sure why things come on all at once. maybe to teach us something? maybe to show us that we need to slow down and remember that life goes way too fast. that we need to love one another more. we need to be more faithful, hopeful, prayerful and grateful. i know i need to have more faith. i need to give all my worries to god and let him relax me and give me strength. i read this from someone i follow on twitter:
"look what can happen, dear seeker, when you lean your graceful arms toward god in prayer, look at all that amorous light you catch." hafiz
i need to lift my hands to god more often. i need to catch his love and let it radiate on me. not only will it help what is going on in my life, but it will make me a better person, wife, mother and friend. i really do miss going to church. i like listening to joel olsteen on my phone or the computer. i love hearing all the positive he has. all the love and warmth. i miss that from church. i decided i didn't want to really go anywhere because of the people i know that are hypocrites. but i need to realize i am going for me. not for them. to hear the word of god to let it strengthen me and help me grow better. we all need to grow no matter what age we are. weeks like this are a lot easier when god is with you!

scripture and a snapsnot

2011-08-28T13:30:00.000-05:00

i wanted to find something that would go with liam's toys that i took pictures of a few weeks ago. i think this will work! :)

simple things

2011-08-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

there is nothing like nutella. and then there is nothing like nutella and tiny breadsticks to go with it! the best $1.48 i've spent lately!

what's your simple thing?

happy birthday! (a day late)

2011-08-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to the best man in the world.

eric's birthday was yesterday. we all went out to lunch to celebrate. we as in our parents and us. i tried to get a good picture of liam and eric but liam had other things in mind, as usual. i couldn't have married such a better husband and father. god sure has blessed me with him. i love you, babe!

last night we had to go get motrin for his teeth, liam's not eric's :) poor kid. i can not wait till all of his teeth are in. soon i hope! so we drove around to sooth him some. the lights at the ball parks always do. now when he sees the lights he'll either say "lights" or "watch." i could "watch" this sunset all evening!

we left work at lunch today. i had the worse cramping and stomach pains. i could barely walk out to the car. not sure what is going on with my body. got home, laid down and just didn't want to get up. feeling better today. stomach is still hurting. so very odd i tell ya! i don't have my gallbladder so it isn't that. who knows. i didn't know if i was going to have to go to the er or the dr. i was pretty freaked out by it. came from no where. i guess i will chalk it up to aging and out of shape. i can't get younger but i can lose some weight and work out. i can't wait till it gets cooler so we can walk. i am so over this heat. i will not miss summer at all!

this is why we let him eat ice cream at home

2011-08-23T20:34:00.000-05:00

because if we didn't feed it to him in a restaurant he would look like this in public:

till he is able to eat without a plastic bag over his body, he'll feed himself ice cream at home.

poor little guy. he had been crying. snotting nose and all. pathetic, huh???

those eyes melt my heart!

even though he can walk just fine, NOW he wants to push this around.

he takes it off the sidewalk and tries to pick it up so it will go.

and then gets mad when it won't.

yep...he has my attitude!

monday pinterest

2011-08-22T08:20:00.000-05:00

happy monday!!!

i would love to have this. christmas is coming, hint hint ;)

a really cool way to display candy at a party!

this melts my heart. how sweet is this?

i wanted to do this when i was pregnant but we never got around to it. btw, no link on pinterest for where this goes. the name is on the photo.

i would love to have a camera bag like this. i heart donna downey!

we need this for the house! :)

i really want to do this!!! how awesome!

i soooo want to make this!!!!

and i just may use this idea for liam's 2nd birthday! anyone have a chalkboard?

i really hate by job

2011-08-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

friday at work was a very, very bad day. i've been wanting out of that dept since december of last year. the dept mgr doesn't want to work there any more so instead of looking for a different job, she treats us all like crap. friday i had it. i went and talked to the store mgr and co mgr. i was so mad that i was crying. if i cry when i am mad that means i am really pissed off! i told them i was this close to walking out. they have known how unhappy i am up there but will not do anything about it. they know that sales are down up there but won't do anything about it. this woman has treated people like crap for over 4 years in the dept yet they still don't do anything about her.

when i get stressed about one thing and upset like i was, it doesn't leave for a few days. i'm not one to "just let it go." i can't. i don't know how to. things go through my head like: if i was dept mgr i would do this, i would never treat anyone like this, why do they let her get by with this, how much more can i take, i can't just quit i have a son to think of....and much much more. no it isn't easy for me to just forget it. i do not like being treated like crap at a job that doesn't tolerate it but yet they do. other dept mgr have been asked to step down but she....she gets by with murder up there. these other dept mgr, in my eyes, were good people. they worked hard. she walks around the store looking busy. she takes long breaks. she doesn't do anything. she left 2 days of work that she didn't do for me to do on friday. i didn't do it. and it was hard for me not to because i am a hard worker and i knew it needed to be done but i wouldn't do it.

we donate food to feed america. what we can't donate we throw out to be recycled into dog food or fertilizer. i had not been doing the floor for over a week. a bunch of organic, what we throw out to be recycled, was left for me to take out. it sat in the area that i normally work in. lately i have been decorating cakes so i haven't been there. but when i go to do what i was told to do, there it was. you know what this tells me??? that people back there don't get a shit about the bakery or me. they can say their are friends but NO ONE leaves anything else for two certain people but they sure as hell will for me. that really upsets me.

there is no respect in that place for anyone. well for those two certain people but not me. why? probably because i say it like it is. i get upset and voice my opinion when no one helps me to do things but will help others. i help people when i can. i help them put stuff up. i help in anyway i can but do i get the help and respect that i should? no. so i am stuck in a place that i hate more than anything and no one in mgmt will do a thing about it.

thankfully eric and i are on the remodel team. this week is my last week in the bakery for 6 weeks. i told the store mgr that i do not want to go back there after remodel. i talk to personel about this and she always gives me this grin and says "what's the matter now?" "well, are you sure you like her because wasn't she caught with your son in a freezer doing things they shoudln't have?"

one way or another i will get out of that dept. if i don't i will lose it. i almost did on friday, especially after i was told "i should fire you for not putting the carts away." i was decorating cakes. i had no idea what was going on in the back. i had got in trouble for them not putting "my stuff for the floor" away after they unload it from the pallet. i've told them not to leave it out. no one cares what i say. they know better but they don't care. so after i go to mgr a 2nd time that day, the person that told me they should fire me said it was a joke. yeah...that is something to joke about.

yes, rhonda is worth joking about, right? that is how i feel up there. not fair. not right. but no one seems to care.

this week in pictures

2011-08-20T15:36:00.001-05:00

love the app i use on my phone for my pictures. it is called "mytubo." if you like instagram but you are a droid user, you will love this app! yes, it is free! :)

have a great weekend!

unpretty marks

2011-08-17T18:33:00.000-05:00

today gypsy mama talked about the unpretty marks on her body and what they mean. so i thought i would talk about mine.

i have a 6 inch scar from a c-section. this scar is a reminder how my little man came into this world. he wouldn't drop. after 7 hours of pitocin, he would not move. i never diliated. nothing. within 35 minutes of them saying it was c-section time, he was born. the baby i prayed and waited 19 years for was finally here! before i had him i had lost 74lbs. i gained all but 20 of it. i hate my stomach but it is also a reminder that he lived there for 9 months as he grew and developed. i try not to get too upset when i see my stomach. i try to remember that i had lost the weight before and can do it again. plus, he is totally worth it seeing how i never thought i would have a child.

other scars: 3 in the ab area due to gallbladder surgery and 3 in the right shoulder due to shoulder surgery. the shoulder sugery was the first surgery i had where they had to cut open. i remember the night before thinking how my scarless skin would be no more. i was pretty bummed. but fast forward ohhhh, 7 years and i don't mind, especially the one below my belly. that is the best scar of all!

i guess this is a reminder that beauty is not just your body. it is your soul. your spirit. your love. your joy. your gratitude. beauty is within!

monday pinterest

2011-08-15T07:47:00.000-05:00

today is about christmas! i want to decorate a lot this year. now that liam is old enough to like the things and kinda know what is going on, i want to have fun and decorate! i want to decorate for halloween too!
remember, click on the image to go to the owner's site.

this year i definately want to do the 25 days of christmas. saw this album and ohhhh my!!!!
btw, there is no link on pinterest to who this belongs to. bummer, i want to see inside it!

i'd love to decorate in blue's and red's. love this tree and it's gorgeous decorations!

such a cute idea here. mason jars as snow globes!

and this jar. oh my!!!

very cute pillow for the couch.

fun for the front door.

i have to make these cookies!

these looks simple to make! love the colors!

and last this idea for a picture!

simple things #18

2011-08-14T08:09:00.000-05:00

man...it's been a while since i have done this! i like taking a moment to look back at the simple things in our week. a reminder that having a camera handy at all times is beneficial! :)

as we were walking into work i saw the rays from the sun coming up from behind the building. love it!

after all the picutres i take on my phone, i realize now that i need one with more megapixels! :)

what is your simple thing from this week?

what we've been up to lately

2011-08-11T14:09:00.000-05:00

i hope one day i learned to take my meds for my depression and anxiety. actually, this time i forgot. the evening went by and in the morning i remembered that i didn't take it. with this med, if you don't take it you will feel the affects quickly. unfortuneately, it takes even longer to get it back into your system. when i miss just one pill everything goes blah. work isn't tolerable and it needs to be with a boss that doesn't want to do her job. but that is a whole new blog post in itself. i get upset easily. i get mad faster. i want to lay in bed and just sleep. it isn't fun. and all of this from missing one pill. other meds don't have this reaction unless i miss a couple of days. so eric, being the awesome husband he is, put an alarm on his phone to make sure i take my meds each day. anxiety disorder isn't fun, but if you stay on top of it, it isn't as bad as it is if you don't. there are days that aren't great, we all have them, but i am learning each day to listen to my body and what it needs.

monday we decided to get out and take pictures since it was a gorgeous day and the weather was great!

we drove by the ball field that liam loves to drive by to get some pictures.

we love the lettering on old buildings. i can't wait to edit these in photoshop!

love this "open" sign. it is from a restaurant we tried about a month ago. yummy salad bar. you get a free tea. unlimited bread. love love love!

this guy is always standing at 4th and walnut on weekdays at lunch. he dresses as hamburger and dances to what ever is blarring through his headphones!

and then the clouds start to roll in from the north. and before you know it rain drops!

which is really need because the leaves on the trees are dying. it is too soon for the leaves to look like this:

i found a new photography app for the android op. it is vignette. i got the demo, may have to upgrade because this app rocks!!! i can do stuff like this:

which doesn't look too big, bummer. the demo doesn't produce big photos. so i may have to get it. i haven't found it to see how much it is though. i like freebies! :)

sunday evening we went for a drive. we found two deer out in the field. i tried to zoom in as much as i could. they don't look that great.

one of them was laying in the grass. it's bambi!!! :)

that is about it for now. had a lot i wanted to write about but it passed. nothing like being inspired to write then once you can it is gone. sigh.

beauty hunt

2011-08-08T15:25:00.000-05:00

i read today's post by The Gypsy Mama and it really hit home. she talks about how one person's comment about her stuck with her nearly all her life. yeah....it really. hit. home.

i was always heavy when i was growing up. i was 12 to 13 when a neighbor kid told me i would be pretty if i was thin. it was a summer or two later that i lost 40lbs. i thought maybe i would get a boyfriend, be popular if i lost weight. nothing. nothing changed. i felt better, sure, but no one asked me out. i had a friend that was always dieting. we went to aerobics on saturdays. sometimes we would take two classes back to back. her desire to lose sunk into me. she always talked about being thin. i never had a problem with how i looked till that kid said what he did, oh and another little brat would call me a name that was really bad.

i thought being thin meant you would have it all. you would be popular. have boyfriends. no, it doesn't do that. because by the time you lose weight you have the mentality of "i am so fat that..."so you won't get any of that because you already insecure, shy and afraid. people see that along with the fat. i weighed 140 in high school but with my insecurities it made me look like 500lbs. i had more baggage than just cellulite. the weight of "if you lost would you would be pretty" and the "this will be our summer to look good" tied me down.

i married at 19 not because i loved the guy i married, because i never thought i would find anyone. i barely dated anyone in high school. if i did they were from another school. he rarely told me i looked good. i had to ask. i told him that if told me i looked good it would make me feel better. never happened. i don't even really recall him saying "you are beautiful." so needless to say that marriage ended. it was a long time before it did because now i had panic attacks, anxiety and depression thrown into the equation.

i still hear that "this will be our summer." when i talk to certain people, all we talk about is weight. i lost 74lbs a few years ago. i made up my mind to do it. to regain my life. i gained 50lbs due to having my son. i feel like a failure. but i get so tired of hearing all the "i need to exericse. i need to lose...." i know i do. i don't need a reminder by it always being a topic of conversation.

i could go on and on but i will end with this. only i can make me happy. thin or fat, this is who i am. i have tried so many years to lose weight for others. the time i did lose weight for myself is when it came off. i am going to start working on it again because i want to lose weight i gained while i was pregnant. i don't care if next summer i can't wear some cute shorts. (god i am so tired of hearing that in the back of my mind). i want to be healthy. i want to be able to play with my son and not be winded. i am going to take the gypsy mama's challenge to find my beauty. i know it is there. it not just the body, it is much more than that.

monday pinterest

2011-08-08T10:18:00.000-05:00

click on the image to go to the owner's site!

let's start of with some prints that i think rock!

there wasn't a link to where this came from.

i'd love to have a drink like this!

i have to make some of these, 7up biscuits! they look yummy!

i've heard from a couple of bloggers that funeral potatoes are amazing. so i must try them!

i'd love to put my desk in the corner of a room and have stuff like this around it!

love this idea for around the door. how fun!!!

the last ones for today are some photography shots that i love!

some amazing pregnancy shots here!

cakes and a photo app!

2011-08-05T19:02:00.000-05:00

my mom taught me how to decorate cakes when i was 6. i love creating stuff, cakes especially! i work in the bakery at walmart. i asked if i could decorate since one associate was taking a leave of absence. the last few days i have been decorating. i love it! a little stressed because of the weekend and the orders, but i can't wait to dive in tomorrow and decorate, one is a wedding cake!!! here are two that i took pictures of:

i got a new photo app for my phone, it's a droid, called "my tubo." it has some great editing options, for far the best i have seen. here are 3 pictures i took with it to test it out:

i've done only one day of "week in the life" digitally. hopefully i can get some more done this weekend. that is about it from us. not too talkive tonight. off to shower and the to bed!

week in the life day, sunday

2011-08-02T15:34:00.000-05:00

what a fun week this was. not any different for us, but for me documenting it was fun. i realized a few things: we go to mcdonald's and sonic way too much. my kid is getting bigger and bigger and i can't stop him! :) i knew i was blessed but i realized how extremely blessed we are to make those frequent trips to mcdonald's and sonic.

and now for the last day, sunday.

liam woke up and was ready to play. usually he is whiney like me. "don't mess with me until i wake up!" not today....off to playing he went!

i let liam have one of those twinkies filled with chocolate. not sure why he has this look on his face. i believe it was something on tv.

and then it is time to brush our teeth. the kid loves to brush his teeth! once in the morning and once at night.

i usually save the laundry for sundays. i do wash during the week but it usually doesn't get folded and put away till sundays. yes...bad i know but that is how i roll so, oh well. lol

it was a little cool this morning. well actually, there is an app on the face of my phone that is for the weather. it said 77. i'm like let's go outside and play since it is 77. we get outside and it is not 77 but how do you tell a toddler that? you don't. you just go with the flow and pass out lol.

during the summer i only wear flip flops, unless i am at work then it is tennis shoes. but if i had a choice it would be flip flops all summer long no matter what. yes...i need a pedi!

we met eric's parents and our niece's at kyoto for lunch.

then it was to the hotel so they kids could play!

we had dinner at applebee's. sometimes liam is happy to be at a restaurant, sometimes not so much. we had to keep him entertained. i think he was getting tired after playing so hard.

this is what i had to eat. forget the name but had cornbread under chicken with a slice of ham, 2 pieces of bacon and cheese on top. with a bowl of cheesey corn. omg...it was awesome!

as we walked out of applebee's, i spot some cool clouds. i love when they look like this!

what a week! fun times!
peace!

monday pinterest

2011-08-01T14:17:00.000-05:00

here we go!!!
hmmm, maybe i should make this for one of the 4 people i know that is expecting!?

love, love, love this pillow!!!

isn't this fun?!

i'll take a dozen of these, please!

this is too funny!

i really miss making cards when i see these:

love the colors on this cake!

and last but not least.

scripture and a snapsnot #4

2011-07-31T08:12:00.000-05:00

i love this scripture. after 3 losses i had liam. i prayed so much when i was pregnant with him. i didn't want to lose him. i prayed every night for a healthy pregnancy, a fast, smooth, painless as possible delievery. i never had any morning sickness. no high blood pressure. no gestational diabetes. he was born via csection because he wouldn't drop. after 7 hours on piticon, nearly the highest it would go, he was born within 25 minutes on december 21st, 2009 at 5:43pm. 7lb 12.5 ounces. 18 inches long. God knew it was time. liam was so worth the wait!

if you would like to participate, here is the information copied from her site:

Want to join in this challenge?

Here's how to participate:

1. Select a scripture.

My hope is that each week you will search your Bible and select a verse that has meaning for you.

Here's a link to a good Bible verse search engine.

2. Add a photo to it.

I hope that you will chose a photo that goes with your chosen scripture, and not just throw these two elements together. The photo can be from your archives or a new shot. Please only use your own photos. You can have the scripture on your photo, below it, make a collage - however you want, as long as the two elements are together!

3. Put the Scripture & a Snapshot button in your post.

You won't be deleted or banned if you don't. It just helps spread the word...and the Word. ;)

It also helps visitors from the blog hop quickly identify your Scripture & a Snapshot post.

4. Come back here and link up your post.

Please link directly to your Scripture & A Snapshot post, not the home page of your blog.

week in the life day, saturday

2011-07-31T07:21:00.000-05:00

didn't take too many pictures today either. but i am sure today, sunday, i will have a lot to take since eric's family is coming! yay!!!!

another healthy choice for our breakfast break. yeah...i need to eat more healthy!

i had to run to payless at lunch to get some shoes for my interview.

i had an interview at at&t. it went really good. the only bad thing, i would be losing quite a bit per hour, so i won't be taking it even if i did get it.

we got a much needed storm but it didn't last long. there was a chance of rain but we didn't know it was going to storm. all the sudden there is this loud thunder and liam screams!!! it lasted about 20 minutes. the rain, not his screaming lol

eric made dinner! it is his own little experiment that is really good!!!

that is it for today. :)

week in the life day, friday

2011-07-30T18:44:00.000-05:00

i didn't take too many pictures today. it was a hot, long day. i was ready to go home from work and relax.

at walmart we donate to feeding america. the food we donate goes to the wesley house here in town. they give them out to people that need food. this is one thing that i am proud about for being a walmart associate. i'm glad we can help people out there that are hungry.

we went to wendy's for lunch. their lemonade is awesome!!!

i love when i get an avon order. i also like looking through the books. i've always loved makeup, skin care and jewelry.

when we got home this was on the porch!

my order from 2peas in a bucket. and what was inside? (btw, it only took two days to get my order. my orders always arrive fast!)

yep, my smash book. this is awesome! if you love scrapbooking and/or journaling, you have to try the smash book and the accessories! love!

and last but not least, the dude watching diego or seseme street. not sure which one....oops!

5 minute friday

2011-07-29T19:14:00.000-05:00

today's word for the 5 minute friday is "still." more information is here:

i still have issues with anxiety from time to time. i'm trying to find a way to help myself get over it but it is hard. i still haven't figured out the one little thing that will get rid of all of it. i am still searching for that little piece of information that will help me to figure it out.

i still wish i wouldn't have let it stop me like it did so many years ago and ruin a lot of my life. i still have regrets. i still have grudges. i still wish they understood.

i still have places i want to go. i still have people to meet. i still need to live my life the way god wanted me too.

i still want to write a book. i still want to travel all over and let everyone know you can beat agoraphobia. i still wish people would understand that it hurts when they say hateful things about it. not a day goes by that i wish they could understand what i go through. they still don't.

i still want to be me. it won't beat me. i won't let it.

week in the life day, thursday

2011-07-29T19:06:00.000-05:00

here we go! if you are doing this, please send me a link to your site. i'd love to see what you are doing!

we are on our way to work! after we drop off the dude, we head down the bypass to get to work.

today was my 3rd year anniversary at walmart. when it is your birthday or anniversary, the time clock will acknowledge it!

we bought our 2008 pontiac g6 in january. love this car!!!

however, i do not like it when it tells me this:

we stop at bo's one stop on the days we don't get to sonic's happy hour. i love the pepsi they have there. right out of the fountain!

one thing i am so grateful for in my life is the dishwasher! what a life saver this machine is.

we went to the mall to find me a pair of shoes. mine are so worn out. they are probably 6 months old. my feet and legs have been hurthing really bad. i felt guilty about getting new shoes but eric says i need them like everyone else. i know i do, but after having liam i am afraid to spend money. i try to choose wishly as to what i spend our hard earned money on. liam loves the fountain at the mall. he loves to throw pennys in it. eric stocked up with pennys in his pocket, but it wasn't enough. i'd say about 30'ish of them. dude throw a fit when we ran out! :)

another thing he loves to do is run the mall! no wonder this kid freaks out when we drive by, he loves it here! here he is at the candy and playing a video game!

here are some random shots of liam playing tonight. the kid does not lack toys! lol

that is all for today.
peace!

week in the life day, wednesday

2011-07-28T18:01:00.000-05:00

i am having so much fun doing this! by doing this i am realizing that i am so blessed. i knew i was, but once you see it at a different point of view it hits home. these photos show our life. i am so happy to be with my little family of 3!

at 7:44am it is....

we drove liam off at the sitters, which is a block away.

at work, someone took an order for a cake. the decorator didn't come in till that afternoon. so i stepped up and did what i could to make a cake look like one that she ordered. we were out of the kit she wanted, it was a dora cake. the plastic pieces are where dora, diego and boots go.

break time. we usually have a donut and a pepsi. this is the sticky bun that i LOVE. found it it is being deleted! bummed!

here are 3 of the people i work with. kodi is the one by herself. alice is the one looking at the camera. elizabeth is the one that is actually working. :)

as you saw from yesterday's post, i work in the bakery. i stock the floor. this is what my day usually looks like, the above photos and this:

after work i head to hastings to read these two new magazines!!! sorry, but i can not and will not pay $15 per magazine. i did at one time, never again!

then it is off to sonic for happy hour once again! this time i get us ice tea. so much better for this heat!

speaking of the heat....

we go and pick up liam. then off to the library for me to recheck out a book and to see if there is anything new.

i bought liam a little piggy bank while back. here he is filling it up!

dude, i don't think this ball is going to fit into the hoop!

he thinks he is a monkey!

we took a ride again about 8pm. we like to drive around the baseball park. liam loves the lights, even if they are off. we turned the corner and i said "oh the lights are turned off, darn." liam's reply..."darn." lol

as we drove around the baseball field, this is what was waiting for us as we rounded the last turn:

and that is our wednesday!

week in the life day, tuesday

2011-07-27T17:51:00.000-05:00

the beginning of the work week for us. blah!

must stop and get some coffee at mcdonald's because i am out of coffee at home.

and where do we work?

and i work in the...

here is our locker!

here is eric at break. we usually have a donut and a pepsi at break. yes...so healthy!

at lunch we went to hastings so he could get the new book by sam butcher.

at our 2nd break i looked to see if the sports illustrated had any nascar articles. i found an ad with tony in it! i love tony stewart! #14!

back at home, after we ate liam wants to climb up the recliner...

here's eric playing xbox.

liam, sitting in his chair and watches daddy play xbox. sometimes he will hold the extra controller and pretend he is playing too!

that is all for tuesday. didn't take as many pictures since i worked.

week in the life day, monday

2011-07-27T17:42:00.000-05:00

i thought i would share with everyone some of what are days are like. i am loving doing this. you can see what this is all about here at ali's project site. i ordered a smash book by k and company from 2peas last night. i am going to use that as the book for this. i don't know how many pages are in it but i am sure if i don't fill it up i can add more of our live's there!

monday.

i love to start my morning with coffee. it used to be a monster energy drink but that makes my anxiety worse so i do coffee. this instant coffee from starbucks is awesome! it went down in price at walmart! score!!!

as i am drinking my coffee, i have to get on the computer. i check my emails, go to facebook, blogs, etc. (i have no idea how to copy a page on the computer so i took a picture. actually i know how to, i can never find it!)

liam eating some cereal.

we had to fill up before heading to my parent's house. gas prices went down so fast a couple of weeks before the first of july, down to $3.06. and of course back up again!

eric, did you pay before you pumped?

here is my parents house were i grew up!

my parents have some cars that my niece and nephews used to play with. liam likes to play with them. they are now in their late twenties. love the memories here!

liam always has to go outside when we go out there. he loves the little plastic flower that spins! and he also loves to play in the pan of water!

lunch at mazzios. love their lunch buffet!

we've been wanting to get liam a fisher price basketball hoop for a while. i could not believe we found one at the salvation army for $3.99! score!!! he loves it. he puts everything through the hoops, even elmo!

it's off to sonic for happy hour to cool off! he doesn't seem to excited. he will be one day when he understand how half price drinks rocks!

i've also wanted to get him a little kitchen set. he plays with it at daycare and when we go to the dr. i was so happy to see this at a flea market! and another bonus, a little farm with animals and people. wanted to get that for him too but waited. the kitchen was $14.95 and the farm $7.50. we saved over $70 by waiting. it was worth it!

here is liam having a snack.

monday was the first time all month we were able to go outside and play. it has been way too hot to go outside when we get home in the late afternoon. eric needed to fix the mower and mow, so we played while he fixed it!

thank god for the rain we got. we needed it really bad, still do!

our neighbor has a christmas in july every year. they usually have a blow up santa. i guess they were too afraid the heat would pop it lol.

we went for ice cream to cool of. love braums' ice cream sundaes!

saw this HUGE 7up sign at a flee market. pretty cool!

saw these too. remember when you could get a sundae in these hats from dairy queen? i think my brother had one of each teams. lol

that is about it for our day!

monday pinterest

2011-07-25T07:47:00.000-05:00

ohhhh, so many cool things once again. i am so addicted to this site! here is my direct link: http://pinterest.com/rhondarobson/ remember to click on the picture to go to their owner!

i love this wreath! i'd like to make one for the fall with a big "r"!

love how they did this shot. who knew a laundry mat would be a good location?!

and another farris wheel. oh i love this one!!!!

i adore this picture. love how it is all pink and the balloons...they make the photo fun!

love this idea for the bedroom!!!!

i need to find a really cool frame and do this with the "r" my mom gave me. the "r" hung in my bedroom when i was a teen!

when i was a kid i collected stickers. (probably not a good thing when i started scrapbooking because i bought tons of stickers i never used). i saw this and remembered how i loved scratch and sniff stickers. they always smelled just like the real thing!

i need this in a 20x20 size lol

i would love to learn how to make this. can you imagine it over a couch?

or this...

that's it for this week!!!
peace!

our life this week!

2011-07-25T07:22:00.000-05:00

i am totally excited about doing "week in the life" by ali edwards. i've been scrapbooking for 11 years, i've never done anything like this. i'm not sure how to remember things when i am not near paper. i'm trying to find an app for the phone to write down things. there are journal ones. may use those. ali does have paper for us to print out. i already have the 7am slot filled and there is still 40 minutes left in the hour. lol

i'm not sure how i am going to put it in an album. i do think i will put it in an 8 1/2 x 11 one. i want to keep receipts and such throughout the week. other than that, it will all be done digitally! hopefully by doing this i will be taking more pictures after this week and documenting them. i've been wanting to do a project life but not sure if i have the time and devotion for it. this will let me know if i do.

let the fun begin! happy picture taking!

scripture and a snapsnot #3

2011-07-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

here is my shot for this week. i look to nature a lot when i think of scriptures. it was God that made all of the beautiful things outside! :)

if you wish to join us, click on the link below!

when it's 100 degrees out what do you do?

2011-07-20T18:38:00.000-05:00

well i scrapbook. i have no desire to get out when it is this hot. i'm not really looking forward to when liam is in baseball and sitting out in this heat. eeks! till it cools down to where we can go out and play, we stay indoors and play. we go on nightly car rides to wind liam down. since we don't play outside he gets a bit of cabin fever. the kid hates heat like me so i don't let him go out in it.

after listening to shimelle laine at ali edward's blog about scrapbooking, i want to take more pictures and scrap more of the little things. so i come up with this layout a little while ago:

here are the other 3 i have made this week.

now to get more ink for the printer and print them off! what have you been scrapping lately?

monday pinterest

2011-07-18T12:08:00.000-05:00

lots of really cool stuff this week. not sure which ones to put on here! click on the image to go to their respected link!

this pretty much sums up this weekend.

this bag is totally cute!

i will have to get me one of these tim holtz totes when they come out. i have my eye on the subway tote!

here are a few shots that really caught my eye!

this made me laugh!!! love it! click on the image to see more like this. they are a riot!

love this! the window. the banner! oh i so want to redo my bedroom like this!

that is it for this week. need to get some things done around the house.
peace!

not perfect

2011-07-17T20:42:00.001-05:00

i'm really bad at expressing my feelings when i am upset or really mad. i've never been good at it. i learned a powerful lesson this weekend. not only do i need to watch what i say but i also need to explain things a lot more clearer. what i say doesn't come out right when i am mad. i'm frustrated. i'm upset. and when no one understands what i am trying to say, it gets worse. i get worse.

trying to explain that you don't feel welcome or invited somewhere when the person that lives there didn't invite you themselves, is hard to explain. i know her but not on the level of "oh sure i will stop by and come on in." i'm not one that just goes to someone's house unexpected and especially uninvited by that person. i don't feel right in doing it. i don't feel that someone who says "oh sure come on over" when they don't live there is an invitation to go, especially if you aren't friends with the person that owns the house.

so what happened this weekend was all my fault. i should have taken it as an open invitation by someone that i really don't know personally, that didn't invite me herself and went anyways. i should have figured out where she lived because no one told me that either. so it is my fault that i don't know where she lives. so....how am i suppose to go to house that 1. i wasn't invited to and 2. i don't even know where it is and no one tells me?????

but no one sees this. they say i am invited yet they don't tell me where the house is. if i am invited tell me where it is. i am not going to beg and ask where it is. how is it an invitation if no one tells me where it is at?

so yes, i got angry because no one texts me by 7pm saturday to ask if i am coming. again, i have no idea where i am suppose to be. i said stuff on twitter that i shouldn't have said. i claim that. but i am not going to be ashamed of the fact that i am hurt. that if i was "invited" then i should have had more details, like a location. i have an 18 months old. i need plans. i used to be able to drop stuff and just go. not any more. i need details. yet, no one gets how i feel.

i talked to eric last night after i got off of twitter. as we were talking i realized something. the old me would be quiet and not say anything if i was upset or not. i would let people walk all over me. i would let them say what ever. but not any more. i was hurt. i said what was on my mind. if it hurt them, i am sorry. but i am tired of not speaking my mind in fear of hurting others while i sit being hurt myself. now here is where the "need to watch what i say better comes in."

i am not perfect. i am working all the time on how to be better at all i do. i have a lot on my plate. being a mother. wife. working. house work. i stress easily than i used to. i never really knew how to express my feelings, only in hateful words. not good. but i am human. i have feelings. i know they do too but all i want is someone to see my side of it.

how can i be welcomed and invited to a place when that person did not invite me? especially if i do not really know that person? i don't know where they live. no one tells me. how am i suppose to feel? if someone can tell me how i am suppose to be ok with it, please do so. till then, try to see my side of it. that is all i ask. you can unfriend me and block me but try to see my side, please.