6 weeks

yesterday i hit 6 weeks in my pregnancy. still in the very beginning of it but totally feeling all of it. i didn't document much when i was pregnant with liam. i had lost 3 other pregnancy's before and was too afraid. when i was 6 weeks pregnant with him i was scared...totally freaking out scared. i couldn't eat much. my anxiety was up each day. "will i lose this one too? i don't think i can do this."  and so many other phrases went through my head. but each day it got easier and easier. the day when we saw a heartbeat made it all better. but i was still nervous a lot. i didn't want anything to happen to him. then i switched to praying instead of the worrying, which is so much better! god works such great miracles!

so this time around i am trying to be a bit more relaxed. the day i found out i was like "i don't know how to take care of one let a lone two." needless to say the praying started a lot early in this pregnancy! i joined the september 2011 group at babycenter.com. i'm meeting women that are over thirty, some are even my age! i'm sharing stories. enjoying it! because no matter what the out come of this pregnancy, it will be my last. i know that is kind of negative to say but at 6 weeks..... i don't think i need to explain, right? but i feel good about this. i feel as if god is adding to our family because we all want liam to have a sibling. i wanted to try to get pregnant again once i lost weight but i never put my mind to it. then one day i am like "oh no....i have that tired feeling again." and it was positive. turned to 2 lines just like the last time...no waiting 3 mintues!

i have energy. i had nausea for a few days, none now. i'm going to enjoy it all! i missed being pregnant. about a month or so after i had liam, i missed him! i missed him rolling around. punching. kicking. yep, going to enjoy each moment and movement this time. hopefully i can find the time to do weekly layouts about what happened that week. i want to do like a project 52. what i really want is to do becky higgins project daily but i'm afraid i will get burnt out with the same stuff for a whole year. someone is doing it but using their own still and page protectors. thinking of that too. all i know is i want and need to document more. i didn't with liam like i wanted to. man, you think "i will be off for 6 weeks. i have so much time." heck no! then you are back to work and then there is definately no time! this time i will make time!