21 day challege, day 2

today was sort of a trying day. i get to work and where i cleaned very well saturday was trashed again. it is so frustrating when others will not work to help make the department what it should be. so i tried to remain positive. i kept telling myself that i am not going to clean it this time and i won't. others need to take responsibility. it isn't my job to make sure they do, so i will do my job and that is it. i know i do a good job. if they aren't happy then they should look for something else and make room for people that want and need to work. it isn't me, it is them. and i will not continue to work my butt off while they don't do much of anything. until our manager starts acting like a manager, though that won't happen because i have wanted out of this dept since december of last year because of her and i am still there. i won't do more than my share any more. if others can't do at least their job, then i am NOT working my job and their's so they can do nothing.

at lunch the sitter calls and says that liam's tube is showing in his ear. things start going through my  mind. but i stop them. mainly one of them is "oh he may have to go to wichita." no, he won't have to rhonda. it is just a tube in his ear that they put in here in town. i did remain calm. and all was well when we saw the dr. his tube is in the canal. we just have to wait for it to fall completely out. all looks great in his ear! i ask the dr if he gets more ear infection if he will have to have tubes again. yes. but i remained positive and told myself that i will not worry. if it ever happens it will. i can't stop it.

slowly but surely i will get the negative talk out of me. it is a trying process but it will happen. not over night but soon. i need it not only for me but for my for my family, especially liam. i can do it! i know i can and will!