cough. cough. cough.

this week has not been fun at all. starting the 12th with a 102.4 fever has ending with a really bad cough. so i went to the quick care at the hospital to make sure it wasn't something more. my chest was feeling like 4 bricks were on top of it. i have the beginning of bronchitis so they gave  me antibiotics to stop it. it is hard to sleep at night. i can't lay down without having major coughing fits. but today has been better so hopefully i can get a good nights sleep.

eric is feeling it too. he now has a cough and all the fun stuff i had. liam had a bit of a cough but he is on antibiotics anyways for what the dr says is a sinus infection. how do they know in toddlers? liam can't say "it hurts here (pointing to eyes and under them). i still think it was allergies. but who knows. he still has a little bit of a runny nose but not as bad as it was.

i was able to make this layout yesterday. about the only real thing i have accomplished all week. thank god for eric. he got the dishes done and laundry caught up.

eric and i have decided that it is harder to get over this since we are older. so with that we are going to start watching what we eat to lose weight and start taking vitamins. i need to de-stress more so colds and such don't get me down so fast. i know i can lose the weight. i lost 74lbs before, i know i can do it again. i want to. i'm trying to get into the mind set of what i need to do to lose the weight. it takes time. i used to have lots of extra time to devote to exercising, now...not so much. i used to walk before work and after work. this is when i worked evenings. it was a lot easier to work out with hours like that. now that it is warming up we can take walks after dinner. the dude loves to go for walks, so we will all benefit from it.

another thing i want to get right is my spiritual walk with god. i have been doing a lot of thinking lately about how i want to go back to church. how i miss that one day to where i got uplifting words of encouragement. how i would fellowship with others. though i was a teen at the time, i know there are others out there our age that we can fellowship with and i totally want that. i want to meet more people. i want to meet people with kids, especially around liam's age. i want liam to grow up having faith and believing in god. the only problem is i don't know what church to go to. i'm up in the air about that. i guess i will pray about it and seek out which direction we should go. i don't want to go to a church that tells us that if we don't do this and this and this we are going to hell no matter what. i believe god is a forgiving god and wants us to be with him. i don't like fear preached to me. i don't want to go where there are a lot of hypocrites. though that will be hard to figure out, but i have been hurt be so many so called christians that i have a huge guard up. i know they are everywhere but i want to pick a place for us to go to that is loving and cares about you no matter who you are. a place were color doesn't matter or status. felt that a lot too when i was going up in the churches i was in.

i know you can't let those out there determine how you feel, but i don't want to be around them. i don't want to feel as if i need to pretend to like them. to me that is not church, that is like going to work, school, etc. i want the place to feel warm and friendly. i'm sure we will find the right place. i know it will take going to a few to see what it is like before we find a place we like. i just want to get back into it all. i really miss it at times.