fast

we've been eating here a lot this week. i was going to try to get groceries after work today but i was just too tired. went to sonic for happy hour, got us a drink, then just waited till he got off. i watched last week's episode of "housewives of orange county" on my phone. love how i can do that with sprint! we don't have cable any more. i do miss cable and want it so bad but it isn't an option right now. day care is just way too high for us to really spend money on something like cable. anyways, we got home and i took a nap. eric put liam to sleep for a nap as well. i still am not 100% but feeling better. i get really tired after working all day. still have some what of a cough but not as bad as it was. eric has been running a low grade fever off and on for a couple of days now. this crap will not go away!!!

good news, my mom finally had surgery on her leg. they went in and cleaned out the infection. i don't know if he still want to replace the veins he put in several years ago or not. but for right now all i want is her leg to completely heal and not bother her ever again!

one thing that is really bothering me is catherine zeta jones. last week she goes into a mental hospital for bipolar II. all the sudden she is back to work one week later! now for me this raises a lot of flags. people will look at this as they can stay one week somewhere and feel a ton better. sorry...depression just doesn't go away like that, catherine! "If my revelation of having bipolar II has encouraged one person to seek help, then it is worth it. There is no need to suffer silently and there is no shame in seeking help." ok. so a person hears that you have it and then they think "oh...so i can go somewhere for one week and boom...i am fine. if she wants to put that quote out there, she needs to tell more about what is going on and how long it takes to get through it. how long have you been dealing with it...you know, your story about having it. no, there is no shame in seeking help. i wish more people would. i was on twitter the other day and a couple of women i follow were talking about how someone they knew, from a blog, had posted on their blog that they wanted to end their life. their depression had gotten too bad and it was too much for them to handle any more. a few hours later they found out she went to a hospital and seeking treatment. sigh of relief. i don't know this person but knowing that someone is so depressed that they want to end their life, that hits a place in my heart for them. i've been really depressed before, i mean really, really depressed. before i met eric i thought my life was just about over. i hated life. i hated my marriage. i didn't know how i would survive. but i did. and life is so wonderful!

so i am wondering what all she learned in this week stay in the hospital. i don't know but this really ticks me off! no it isn't jealousy because i know it takes more than a week to feel better, especially if you are so bad that you have to check into a hospital. is this a crack at getting more publicity? if so that would totally set me off. i know she has a lot going on in her home but ok one week is not going to help. happy pills? even though take more than a week to get into your system it can't be pills.  i don't believe it. i don't believe that she is all the sudden ok. you don't check into a hospital for that reason and leave a week later and go to work on a friggin movie or tv show.

ok...i need to get off the topic because it gets me more mad as i write about it. i want to write more on my blog about anxiety, depression, panic attacks and generalized anxiety. i hope that someone out there will read it and know that they are not alone...especially know that you can get better but it takes longer than a freaking week!!!! oops...it's slipped out. people need to be educated. people need to know they aren't alone. people know there are others out there than can help. so thank catherine, you have just encouraged me to start writing about this on my blog. i have been wanting to for a while and now i will. i'm not famous. i'm not rich. but i want to help anyone that deals with any of it. together we can win this battle and with no quck fixes!! because this isn't something that just goes away over night. this is a life long battle for some, i am one of them. my story will start soon.