working on it

i'm working on it. i'm working on putting the fears behind me and heading into a new direction. i'm so tired of wanting to do things and letting fear stop me. i'm tired of sitting back and letting the world pass by me. i want to see new things. old things. things i haven't seen in years. i want to take pictures. lots of pictures. i want to take liam to parks. to races. to everything a little boy would want to see. i want to go places with eric. i want us to have a vacation. i want us to visit family. i've waited so many years to have the life i have now, now i want to get past the only thing that is now holding me back.

as i said in my last post i stopped thereapy. it wasn't going anywhere. and it is up to me to make the move to get out and go. so the last few days we've been getting on the highway and going. i'm going more each time we go out. i'm going forward to doing what i used to do. i'm looking forward to shopping, to eating in amazing restaurants. i just want to live the life i was meant to live. god didn't give me what he did to keep me back now. i am more deteremined now than ever. i see people on instagram and facebook going to awesome places, i want to go too. i may not be going where they are but i'm going to the places that i want to go to. for the first time in a long time i am excited. i am ready and i am willing to face the fears and go. i know it will not be easy. i know there will be more panic in my life but i can and will control it. i will make the best of the rest of my life.

here's to the start of stopping the only thing that is holding me back now. :)