joplin, missouri

i really don't know how to start writing about this. i don't know how to express the thoughts in my head. i don't know how to express what i have seen on tv and on the internest. may 22nd, 2011...a day that i and hundred of other "4-staters" will  never forget.

i'd share photos but people all over has seen them. frankly, the more i see the more i hurt. the more i see the more i am speechless that nature could do something like this. my heart and soul hurt for this town that is just less than 30 miles from where we live. i used to live there. i worked in a nursing home that was by st. johns. it just breaks you.

numb. i've been numb since sunday night. as we went to pick liam up from aimee's, our neighbors where outside listening to the radio. something happened. see, about 1.5 hours earlier we were under a tornado warning. that very storm was headed our way. once it got to about 30 to 40 miles from us, if even that, it turned more south. i turned on the radion in the car and learned about the tornado. we got to aimee's and she had it on the weather channel. there we stood in disbelief. there wasn't anything left. st. john's barely stood. i wondered if the dr's offices from across the street of the hospital was there. surely they were on the other side. no...gone.

numb. you see this stuff happen to others far away. not here. though we are in "tornado alley" nothing like this has ever happened before. we had a tornado come through our county, oh gosh the year escapes me...i'd say 6 years go, that took out a small town 5 miles north of us. i remember the stories from that. people that we used to work with chasing that storm and coming upon the devestation. stopping to help people. small community. something like 500 hundred people. i don't really know how many live in that town. it hit us all hard then. this is like a tidal wave.

i cried at mcdonald's this morning as we waited in line to pay. a lady talking about her daughter dying. she hasn't seen the body yet and didn't know how to see her. didn't know where. no one told her. the guy on the radio said  "i'm so sorry" and broke down. omg....this is joplin. this is a city that just  moved up to #22 in the nation in cities that had jobs. this is joplin. joplin. pretty much the heart of this area. the only place to go that is close to get just about anything you want. out town is big but not as big as joplin.

i am an associate at walmart. we lost a store in joplin. last i heard 2 associates died in the store and 5 customers. there were over 200 people in the store. i've seen a video of the store. heartbreaking. seriously...no words can really describe how you feel. i was told by a so called friend from high school that has been doing search and rescue there that i can't be devestated because i am not there helping. i was so mad when i read that. not everyone can be there to help. i cried over tusculoosa at videoes i watched. people are affected and just because they aren't there doesn't mean they are sad and speechless like we all are.

tonight i pray for the lost, the found, the dead, the alive, the volunteers, the emergency people, everyone. i ask that you do too.