sighing

feeling better today. sometimes i get so caught up in stuff that i just go off. i get mad because no one sees my side of things. no one sees how i don't get help but yet they want help. i'm too old for this crap. lol. i decided to focus on me and my family. my energy needs to go into eric and liam right now. i have a little man that needs his mom's attention. i feel guilty today about what i said yesterday but it was how i felt so i shouldn't feel guilty for how i feel. i wouldn't expect anyone else to feel guilty so why should i? well it is because i am worried what others think of me and i don't want it to be bad. i do realize that not everyone will like me. sometimes it just hurts you know? but like i said, i have too much to focus on right now to worry about what others think.

i didn't post about mother's day so i will now. it is my new favorite holiday next to 4th of july. i never thought i would be able to celebrate it and now that i can, i love it. it is the most special time in my life. i want to have another one really bad but i know we can't afford it. plus i don't really want to worry about things during a pregnancy at my age. i need to work. i can't be off with morning sickness or god knows what else. so for now i will enjoy my little man and the happiness he brings us.

i'm very grateful for my mom. she has always been there for me. love you mom!!!

here are two layouts i did. there is another layout i want to make. my niece manda and her son came to town. i got pictures of all of us together. love the shot!!! so that is to come soon!

i want to be a positive mother for liam. each day i learn something new about myself. this helps me become a better person for him. as i learn i can teach him. after all that's what god wants me to do!

ps...i really need to read what i post before i publish it. oops :)