Thursday, November 20, 2008

What a week

Since it has been so cold I haven't been on to post anything. We mainly stay in the bedroom, shut all the doors and keep the heater on. We watch tv and then go to sleep. Yesterday was nice. High was about 65, felt awesome. Here are a couple of pictures of the sunset as we were coming back from the hospital.

gotta love the ups truck lol

Mom is doing good. After a scare on Friday, she is looking really good and walking 4 times a day. I hope and pray they would get all the infection out this time around and there will be no more problems. She is the strongest woman I know. I would have broken down by now. She probably has but won't let anyone see it. She is such an amazing woman! In a 5 day span she had 11 units of blood and two units of plazma. Makes me want to donate blood so people can have it. Without it my mom probably wouldn't have made it. If you donate blood, thank you. You are saving lives by doing so.

Work has been sucking a lot lately. Feels like no matter what I do it isn't good enough. I stayed the other night to get freight out and never received one thank you. It's rather discouraging. No 20% off one item this year. Instead we will get 10% off groceries til January. That is totally ok with me. I would rather have that than the 20%. I don't have extra cash right now since we need to get the pipes fixed. I was told by several people to go and see if this one state ran organization could help me. I didn't do it. I asked the Salvation Army and they didn't so I just gave up. Tonight it is suppose to be in the 20's. Going to be really friggin cold. I can't wait to get the heat fixed. Never in my life have I ever been so cold. The house is freezing. I am afraid the heater will catch fire. Hopefully after Thanksgiving we can get it fixed.

I had the most awesome think happen. I received an email from a lady at Epson last month asking me if I wanted to try the new Epson Artisan 800. I was a little leary but gave her my address. I really didn't think I would get anything in the mail. A few weeks later I got a package from Fedex. It contained ink and paper. I re-read the email she sent and said the printer would be shipped seperate from the raw materials. The next day it arrived. I was freaking out. One huge box sitting on the porch! Heaven!!!! Today I finally got to try it out and it is soooo amazing. It is a scanner, printer and fax. It has wi-fi. I installed my softward and can print with NO cords. It is sooo awesome what technology can do these days. Comparing the prints to Walmart, where I normally get my photos, they are just same if not better. I like how I can put my memory card in and look at the photos on the screen before I print them off. *suh-weet* As I do more with it I will talk more about it. I can print labels for cds and dvds too.

Well that is about it for now. I am hoping to do a little scrapping or card making because tomorrow night I may not want to be in the living room much.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Color Inspiration #30

What fun colors this time! Here are the colors Kristina came up with:
I made two cards. The one with the Christmas Tree didn't come out too well. No matter what angle I tried, the camera would not take a clear shot of it. The stamps are from Close to My Heart. "Evergreen and Annotations"

We've been trying to stay warm with no gas. Hopefully in the next week we can get the plummers out to redo the pipes and then finally have gas. I hate being cold so this sucks big time! Mom is back in the hospital for the 5th time. Her leg started bleeding Monday afternoon. They are going in on Thursday to see if the blockage is causing the bleeding or from when she fell back in July. I don't know how she stays brave through all of this. I would have broke down by now. I hope they find out what is going on and stop it. It seems like she gets home for a week or two and then she starts bleeding again. The infection is still there but is going down. She is the strongest woman I know.

Off to make more cards.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

you never know

you never know what life is going to throw at you. you never know if one day you will wake up and not know that something you will learn that day will change your life for a brief moment. And in those moments your life changes. Your future is unknown. You are scared. Anxious. Wonder if you are ready for what life throws you. You don't think you are but when you know it isn't going to come about, you want it very badly. You wish you didn't think bad things and wish it to go away. You think about nothing but that. You are consumed with worry, anxiety, fear. Nothing helps. You keep trying to figure out in your head what to do. What might happen. What if this...what if that. Then you learn that you can't control anything. You can't control what life brings on to you but how you face it is all you can control.

I have been negative for many years. Mainly due to upbringing from very protected parents and a negative ex-husband, I learned how to react to things in ways only I could learn to deal with. I didn't feel I could go to any of the above as they were not open to the possibilities. I held back and didn't say anything. I took what come to me as I could see fit. I ran. I didn't know how to handle things. I never got to handle things growing up. They were too afraid something would happen to me. All my life I have been sheltered. All my life I have been searching for a way out. I am now out but still dealing with how to deal with the newness of it all.

Tammy said "maybe no one knows you are happy because you are always depressed." Maybe so. But in the last 2 months I have went from security to not knowing what will happen next. For the first time ever I don't have my gas on because of the bill. So I have been freezing my ass off. For the first time in years I don't have the money to just go to Hastings and buy one magazine. I am adjusting to a lot of things. I am happy but change doesn't mean you will always be happy. I want exactly what is going on, my life with Eric, but there is a lot I am getting used to. A new job after 9.5 years. Dealing with a big corporation and not a little mom and pop store. Trying to deal with my anxiety issues and depression without meds because I haven't had the money to go to the dr till last week. I suffer from depression and if I am not on my meds my life is hell. No one knows what it is like unless you go through it. That and anxiety. People come and go freely but for me something are a constant challenge.

This pregnancy was a huge surprise to me. And it made me see what I need to work on. In the few short days that I thought I was going to be a mother, I saw all I needed to work on. As I type this I am pretty sure when I go to the dr tomorrow she will say that it is over. My numbers are too low for it to be viable, 27??? no way. But who knows. Its for the best that it doesn't become viable anyways. I don't think anyone is ready for this. No one seemed happy. I think it is for the best. So hopefully when I get out of the dr appointment tomorrow I will have a smile on my face and feel relieved.....and I think some others will be too.

Color Inspiration #29

Wasn't too sure if I could pull this off. Not a color combo I would normally used but I am up for a challenge. Here are the colors Kristina picked for this inspiration:
And here is my card: (the stamps are by Close To My Heart)
Here are some other cards I did this past week. I would have posted them sooner but a little pre-occupied with something in my life right now. Creating a card tonight let me escape for a little while.

Happy card making!