Saturday, September 25, 2010

oops, forgot to add these

forgot to add a couple of layouts i created.

long time no blog

it know it has been a while since i blogged. life is a bit crazy now with trying to adjust to going to days. i haven't worked a day shift in over 13 years. i am used to sleeping in, well was till liam came along :), so this has been an adjustment for me. i do enjoy it though. the day goes fast. there is no drama in the bakery. no one complaining about how bad it looks from last night. i needed a break from apparel. it was majorly stressing me out. it wasn't the job but more the dept mgrs. i hope one day i can decorate cakes. yesterday i had to write on a cake. nerve racking 1. the lady was persistant on making this cake work (she put off getting her daughters birthday cake till that day) 2. i haven't wrote on a cake in years, didn't know how it would look. it turned out good. i wish people would realize that we can't perform miracles when they need something at the last minute and get mad at us if we don't. oh the joy of retail!

speaking of cakes. i am so excited to be making our wedding cake. i have an idea set on how i am going to do it. mom is making some icing for me so i can practice on making roses and other designs. the wedding is 2 weeks from tomorrow. i am getting really excited! can not believe it is $80 to get a marriage license. totally crazy!

liam....he is crawling like crazy now. he saw me come in the bedroom the other day and said "momma" just clear as day. it was awesome! i hope i am giving enough to him. sometimes i don't feel as if i am. eric gets up at night with him. i will get up if he gets up a 2nd time so eric won't have to. i have a hard time going back to sleep, eric doesn't, so he gets up. he usually rocks him to sleep because i want some me time. i just hope i give him enough. eric is the best dad. liam couldn't have a better father. i feel guilty when i want some time to myself. i get stressed out easily. it isn't liam that stresses me out, just things that are going on. when it all starts to pile up i get really stressed and explode. i guess it is because of my anxiety disorder. i am not one to let things roll off. i try to work on it. sometimes it rolls off, most of the time it doesn't. i guess by me taking the time for me i can be a better mother to liam. he doesn't need a stressed out mommy. now that we are getting more hours at work, eric has full time hours, that stress will lessen. i should be getting the same if not a bit more. (i just looked at my hours for the week of the 9th, 38 hours. that is counting 8 for vacation bc of the wedding. yay!)

even though things might be stressful at times, i wouldn't ask for anything else in my life. i have two great men in my life. it's all i ever wanted. god has truly blessed me.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


yes, once again i am stressed. too much going on for this mind to handle.
1. his cough/ear infections. are they going away? his nose is still runny but not as bad as it was. i don't know if it is better. how long it takes to get better.
2. my cold. i am feeling better but my left ear still feels plugged.
3. work. eric can go to days but i am having a hard time finding hours for days in different depts. i could go to bakery but to get the hours i want i need to open hour my availibility from 5am to 5pm.
4. money. so many cute, cute ideas for the wedding but no extra money.
5. my weight. i have to stop drinking pop again. must start to exercise.
6. the house. now that the dude is starting to crawl, i need to get cords and such out of the way. with this little house i have no idea where to put anything. i want to throw a lot of it out to not deal with it.

just a lot on my mind. mainly liam and making sure he is getting better. we do have an appointment on tuesday with the dr to make sure he is getting better. now if everything else would some how work out, i could relax.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Can't sleep

Its almost 3am and I'm wide awake. Even though the dr said that the cough isn't bad and is drainage, I'm still stressing out. The meds they gave for him are clearing the congestion. You have to take it every four hours because it does wear off fast. He has been coughing a lot the last hour so I gave him some. Eric is in there now rocking him. I tried but I am so hot that I couldn't. I guess my cold is at the burning out stage or something. I'm so hot I can't get cooled off.

The dr said his lungs are clear. So thankful for that. However I can't help but stress over the cough. He sounds so bad. The antibiotics for the ear infections aren't working so she changed it to a stronger one. I just want my baby better.

After his first dose for the congestion and runny nose, he didn't cough and seemed to have so much energy. At night I worry more I guess. There is something about the night that makes me worry and anxious. I can't watch him if I'm asleep when he feels bad. Thank god for the monitor. At times I can hear him breath and it gives me relief.

I know the cough is just the beginning of lots of worries I will have. I can't make him feel better and so it makes me feel bad. And of course it doesn't help when you already feel bad yourself from a bad head cold.
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