Tuesday, March 31, 2009
today my goals are to clean the bedroom. it needs picked up so badly and dusted too. get some cards done for a card call. i want to get published again so maybe this will be the start of it. i have already sent them 12 to 15, I want to send a couple more. fingers crossed that i will get at least one in the summer issue. i'd like to be on a design team but.....maybe one day.
nails need to be polished. they are getting long and it is hard to type fast like i like to. but i like the nails so i will slow down lol.
off to get some cards photographed and emailed.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
felt a little creative today and finished this layout i started last night. i am so excited to find a man that shared the love of photography like i do. *happy dance*
i'm really wanting to digital scrapbook but can't find my pe 4.0 cd. i deleted the program when i needed more memory and regret doing it now that i have the memory. i will find it. it's around here somewhere.
had dinner with eric's parent last night. they were coming through town on their way back from branson. we ate at chili's. i enjoy listening to their stories.
relaxing again today. next week we have 3 days off! i want to get the living room done, as in get the rest of his boxes out of there and make it liveable again. i'd like to move his desk into the living room so it isn't by the drafty window in the dining room. i would love to paint but not sure what color yet.
that is about it for today. enjoy the cold, rainy weather. there is snow that is suppose to come. yay! NOT!
eta....finally, my blog looks normal again and doesn't have all the weird stuff at top of my posts! i missed doing banners too!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
happy color challenge everyone!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Congrats Anna! Some fun stuff coming your way!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
if you would like to make cards for some special kids, click on my "cards for kids" logo.
happy card making!
had a great night last night. heather and her family are really nice. can't wait for more times together! so happy to have found a great man and a great family, something i have longed for for a very long time.
depression is getting better. i have learned that i need to take my medicine or else. when i am depressed i have to force myself out of bed. force myself to get dressed. force myself to not call into work. basically force myself to live my life. not fun. not something that eric wants to see. depression and anxiety are ugly. something i have lived with nearly all my life. people used to think i was faking it. ex in-laws thought i was faking it. they rarely came down. they said i wouldn't be a part of the family till i made it to their place. so much stuff was said and thankfully that is all in the past. i have a new life now and i never thought in my life i would be this happy. sometimes i look at all around me and stop to think how lucky and happy i am. i smile and shiver as it is the best feeling!
as i re-read the paragraph above i realized that you never know how much of an impact you will have on a person's life. i remembered all that was said from the beginning and there was so much hurtful stuff. one time i stood up for myself and i got my ass reemed because of it from him. i could never speak my side, ever. i wish i could make certain people see that i am so much happier now. that there was so much more that went on behind the picture than i ever said. i feel like moving on is hard for them but i am moving on if they like it or not. for years i lead my life for someone else. no matter how hard i tried it wasn't good enough. now i don't have to try. now i can be me. now i can breath and realize that i am done with the critizisms, the fakeness, the need to make them happy!
when you have anxiety disorder or any mental disorder for that matter, people that have never dealt with it don't know how to act or what to believe. they never got a chance to "know" me. they went off of each other's thoughts and made their own decision. i have problems meeting people as i fear they will make their own decisions about me and think i am weird for having anxiety. i'm shy at work a lot of the times because i stay there and wait on eric. i do go and work out at girlfriends, not all of the time but i'm trying to make a regular of it. i guess i still have a lot of hurt from the past that i need to let go of. i am free from all of it now so why keep thinking people will do what they did?
not sure where all of this came from but i guess i needed to say it. it just starting pouring from my fingers. i guess i am wanting a certain someone to see that my life is so much better now. i wish they would accept it and be happy for me. i wish they would take down the old pictures and get ready for the new ones. there is a life that is starting here and we've only just begun. he is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Their Mission Statement: "Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children. We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization. We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children. We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is a part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence. We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse. We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle."
I look forward to hearing for you!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
we took pictures of a train and its surroundings. the "K" is from a train that is at a park. i used to climb on it as a kid but now it is fenced off. i love altering photos in photoshop cs and using various actions. i use a lot of holly mccaig's actions.
that is it for today. off to work for 5.5 hours and i'm free for 2 days!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
kali...a totally different story! thursday she started throwing up blood so we decided to finally take her to the vet. she had been having some problems with diarrhea for about 1.5 weeks. i had switched her food and figured that was it but when she started throwing up blood i freaked. she has these sores on her back that she has had since she got fixed. we think it is from her freaking out when she got her stitches out and run under the bed. so she was running a little fever too. the vet says the diarrhea is from the food switching. he gave her antibiotics and something to line her stomach to stop the diarrhea. this cat has cost us $600 total in the last 2.5 months! but hopefully now all is good and she will be fine. actually she was back to herself about a week after she got fixed, she had a lot of problems prior to that. anyway, all is good with her now.
i went off my lexapro thinking i could do it on my own...depression says different. i decided i had to go back on. i do this from time to time. i get to feeling wonderful and think i don't need it but i do. that is why i feel great is because of the meds. i went back on it on wednesday and i am anxiously waiting to return to happy land. i am happy but with depression no matter what is going on in your life, good or bad, it tells you how to feel. i hate depression and anxiety. i have done a lot better this last year than i have in a long time.
eeks, i better get. time to get ready for work.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
my birthday present from my secret sister. fun stuff! thank you to who ever you are!
i did this layout last night. love the paper from making memories, i need to get some more.
we're going to the movies this afternoon to see "he's just not that into you." i told eric i would go see "watchman" but it is almost 3 hours long! i think he can wait for video rofl.
off to eat and then get ready to go out.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
about the milemarker layout. we were out taking pictures when i noticed there was a 36 milemarker. i wanted to take a picture of 37 since that is still my age for 4 more days but there wasn't one??? so i got 38 instead and made a layout of it. the next one is of me and eric. it is for a challenge i did at scrapbook dreamer. and vinny, it was for a challenge i did last month at scrapbook dreamer but never posted. i've been wanting to make something and finally produced a layout but working on some of the challenges this month at sd. i'm hoping the urge is still there come wednesday when i am finally off and can scrap all i want.
things that has been happening. my boss from taco station son died in a car wreck. i went to school with todd since elementry school. eric and i went to the wake. i was so happy to see sam. i hadn't seen him for 4 years. he moved after he closed taco station. he looks just the same. i wish i knew where he was staying so i could go see him. i really do miss him and he's talks. a very smart guy. i saw a few people that i used to work with at taco station. was surprised that terry, todd's mom, remembered me. sometimes i think people forget about me since i don't really say that much...weird i know. was glad to see ryan too. they are all in my thoughts and prayers.
the total went up on our little photoshoot. we went out thursday and took a few more. i ended up taking about 300, eric 200. i am soooo friggin glad to find someone with the same interest. this is is going to be our way to relax and unwind. i am really thankful he is in my life. i love that man with all my life!
measured myself last week and decided that i HAVE to get back on track with my weight. i gained 3 inches in the waist and gut, not good. so i am back to watching what i eat. i will try my best to go to girlfriends after work to work out. saturday i didn't though. i was walking out of the site to store doors when anxiety hit. then last night they needed help with freight since they unloaded 2 trucks. i needed the money, money wins over exercising lol. i stocked in the soap isle, kinda fun!
hoping all goes smooth for heath today. he is getting his first round of cemo. sure wish i was close to keep carla company. sending positive thoughts there way! pet scan set for tomorrow.
well that is about it for this update. i think i will get a stamp set out and work on a little something before work.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
it's windy today and the high is suppose to be in the upper 70's. i am trying to decide what to wear today as I have gained inches and i am not happy at all about that! what does that mean boys and girls??? rhonda is back on the bandwagon. going to eat right again and go religiously to girlfriends after work and work out. 1 hour of cardio no if, and's or buts....
now to shower and begin the day!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
those are my plans for my days off. i can't wait to get out and play around town with my new camera that i got last month. i haven't been out to take pictures in a while. may take the tripod and get some of me and eric! hmmm, just had that idea, think i will!
sending positive thoughts to carla and heath that all goes good today with the oncologist. wishing i lived closer so i could be with her.
not much new happening around here, which i guess can be really good, huh? :)
Sunday, March 01, 2009
it snowed yesterday too. while i do admit it was pretty and relaxing to scrap and watch the snow, however i am ready for the warm weather and want it asap! day light savings is a week from today and i can't wait!