Saturday, September 25, 2010

long time no blog

it know it has been a while since i blogged. life is a bit crazy now with trying to adjust to going to days. i haven't worked a day shift in over 13 years. i am used to sleeping in, well was till liam came along :), so this has been an adjustment for me. i do enjoy it though. the day goes fast. there is no drama in the bakery. no one complaining about how bad it looks from last night. i needed a break from apparel. it was majorly stressing me out. it wasn't the job but more the dept mgrs. i hope one day i can decorate cakes. yesterday i had to write on a cake. nerve racking 1. the lady was persistant on making this cake work (she put off getting her daughters birthday cake till that day) 2. i haven't wrote on a cake in years, didn't know how it would look. it turned out good. i wish people would realize that we can't perform miracles when they need something at the last minute and get mad at us if we don't. oh the joy of retail!

speaking of cakes. i am so excited to be making our wedding cake. i have an idea set on how i am going to do it. mom is making some icing for me so i can practice on making roses and other designs. the wedding is 2 weeks from tomorrow. i am getting really excited! can not believe it is $80 to get a marriage license. totally crazy!

liam....he is crawling like crazy now. he saw me come in the bedroom the other day and said "momma" just clear as day. it was awesome! i hope i am giving enough to him. sometimes i don't feel as if i am. eric gets up at night with him. i will get up if he gets up a 2nd time so eric won't have to. i have a hard time going back to sleep, eric doesn't, so he gets up. he usually rocks him to sleep because i want some me time. i just hope i give him enough. eric is the best dad. liam couldn't have a better father. i feel guilty when i want some time to myself. i get stressed out easily. it isn't liam that stresses me out, just things that are going on. when it all starts to pile up i get really stressed and explode. i guess it is because of my anxiety disorder. i am not one to let things roll off. i try to work on it. sometimes it rolls off, most of the time it doesn't. i guess by me taking the time for me i can be a better mother to liam. he doesn't need a stressed out mommy. now that we are getting more hours at work, eric has full time hours, that stress will lessen. i should be getting the same if not a bit more. (i just looked at my hours for the week of the 9th, 38 hours. that is counting 8 for vacation bc of the wedding. yay!)

even though things might be stressful at times, i wouldn't ask for anything else in my life. i have two great men in my life. it's all i ever wanted. god has truly blessed me.

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