Tuesday, October 15, 2013

God is so good!

what i have experienced over the last few weeks is a miracle, seriously! i had some issues at work with a couple of people. i was stressed so bad. i worried every day. it got so bad that i had a very bad panic attack before work one day. i about left. i parked by the doors in case i needed to leave. in my prayer journal i asked God to heal my thoughts and stresses about work. one sunday that we didn't make it to church i listened to joel osteen. he talked about how God will give you double for your troubles. i'm not sure what day it happened, it might have been right before we had three days off, but the thoughts stopped. the worries about work, stopped. my fears about it, stopped. thinking of the ones that did what they did, stopped. for the first time in weeks i had no thoughts about work and the people that had been bothering me. the threes days off we had was thought free. if you know me and my obsessive thinking, this is a miracle. i still have no thoughts of work or what happened. i haven't stressed about anything and i refuse to. i know God healed me there. it is so great to have a clear mind. in fact, a lot of my obsessive thinking has lessened.

this is one of my favorite scriptures: Philippians 4:8
    Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

i now know how important it is to think of the good things. i now see what the negative thinking had done to me. all the sleepless nights of fears and unless worry and you know.....none of it ever happened. i want my mind to be free of the negative chatter and by the grace of God it has. i am still thanking Him for freeing my mind. seriously, this is a miracle. never before have i ever been able to stop my thinking. i was a total obsessive thinker. i worried about what people thought, i was such a people pleaser....i worried if i upset them and if i did i felt a tremendous guilt. i wanted everyone to like me. gosh....i was totally setting myself up for hurt. what happened at work has shown me a lot. God told me to go up to one person and say i was sorry. i didn't feel as if any of it was my fault. but i did and i believe that is when the release was. so, if you are fighting or disagreeing with someone and it is bothering you, then you need to stay something to that person to free yourself. i never thought i would be saying things like this. God has really worked in my life like never before. no wonder no other books and people has never worked for me. i am a child of God and He wants to take care of me. 

i am kinda grateful that all of that happened. it taught me a lot and showed me what i need to do. slowly i am growing and learning. i know God will heal the anxiety that lurks in me. there were so many years of mental damage done to me with my ex. but it is slowly going away. i forgave him, did tell him because he is no where around, but i did and felt free from that.

i hope to write more, i really do. i don't get on the lap top much, usually the ipad. need to remember to fire up this things and write. hopefully i can help someone else. we are never alone, especially if God is at our side!