Better

Feeling better tonight, mentally that is. Dealing with sinus issues is no fun. Every time the temperature changes drastically my head feels it. It went from a daily temp of 100+ to the 80's. I don't know.if it even reached 80 today. Rained today thank God! We had nearly 60 days of 100+ degree weather. For the next 10 days the highest is 95'ish. Gotta love that!

Potty training was better tonight. Sponge Bob even helped out. I pretended like sponge bob was holding his.... to go potty. Liam held his and peed standing up. Lol. Only happened once but he'll get the hang of it.

He was found in his toy box. "Daddy come find me." Dork got in there and hid. Lol i love that kid!

depression and anxiety

today they are bad. i'm not sure if it is the  meds the dr put my on for my low testostrone or what. the pharmacy said it would make my anxiety got up. been on it for 2 months now. but i am ovulating and i think that is what is going on. i don't want to be around anyone. i don't want to do anything. i do want to scrap but don't have any new stuff. i want to stamp but no umph because i know it will look like crap. i just want to crawl into a hole and sleep.

i know what my check will be like and it is great but it will go to some property taxes we need to pay. though i am very thankful that the money is there for that, it seems like we can never treat ourselves to anything. i'd love to get new scrapbook stuff but no. i'd love to join close to my heart. this month it is just $50 to join and you get this really awesome bag. but the taxes. stupid ex left me with back taxes that i have been trying to get caught up on for a couple of years.

which brings me to this...i want out of this friggin house. i hate it. the bathroom floor is bad. it will be to be replaced by winter, has to be! the kitchen is so small.i want to teach liam how to bake things. he liked filling up the cupcakes yesterday. i could say so many things but i just want out. i'm so tired of this house. so tired of it all. i want out!!!!!! but how? where would we go?

liam's potty training isn't going that great. he'll pee for everyone else but there at home, no. he throws a fit that he has to stop what he is doing to go. we praise him, tell him what a good, big boy he is when he does go, so i don't get it. i'm frustrated. i feel like i can't talk about things he does because when i bring things up people's comments make me feel like i am a bad mom. all i want is help. tell me a good plan or who you did it. don't tell me "well at least...." no....i don't know what i am doing half of the time so i just want a little compassion and not the riot act. i havent been around kids that much so i really have no clue what the heck i am doing sometimes.

there's just so much i think about. bills. are we raising him right. am i a good mom. am i a good wife. what will we have for dinner. make sure i get the hours i need (which that problem is solved now to make sure eric gets the hours he needs for us to make it). sometimes i feel like i am going to lose it.

no one ever calls or texts to see how things are going. i used to but then stopped because no one does it for me. i'm tired of trying to make things work everywhere. if people wanted to be my friend they'd call or text too.

just not in a fun mood today. too much crap going on. i just want to go to bed and sleep till work tomorrow but i can't. who would fix dinner? i kinda just want to give up on things. what's the use of working hard if i can't enjoy some me time? when i can buy a few things to scrapbook with. "oh well that's part of life. you work and work." no.....i need something for an outlet to release stress.

i don't know why i am posting this. guess i need to rant. guess i just want one person to tell me they understand and that they can help in some way.

cousins

liam's saturday sitter was closed due to a wedding so eric's mom came to watch liam. we were so happy to find out that sierra, breanna, alexis and alexia were coming! he loves his cousins and he loves to show off around them! here he is with one of the twin's shoes showing off his pull-up.

they all went to the park. we have a great park just 2 blocks from our house.

then they went to the mall where the girls bought him a sponge bob balloon.

we had big news this week. liam pooped in the potty. only happened once but it was great! here he is talking on the phone and playing the sax. he likes to multitask......he got from me. :)

at work i had a request to do a gender reveal cake. i cut the cake in half and put pink in the middle. when they cut the cake they will see what the sex is of the baby. it was fun to make though i heard the gal didn't like the green on it. people are never happy lol

spiderman!!!!

love, love, love, love my job! i got to see what my first full-time paycheck is today....omg!!!! sooo happy!!!! thank you god for this blessing. we really need it!

have a happy week!

let's try those pictures again!

let'e see if those pictures will post today! these are some of the cakes that i have done. my base icing is getting better. when i am in a rush it doesn't look too good but it is getting better!

i needed sometime to put in the case as a filler. i was hoping it would stay in  there so i wouldn't have to make another but it sold. lol. i forget that we have hunters in this area.

this was my first try at carnations.

this was my first tiered cake. again, was kind of in a rush so it could have been better. each day i get better. i made one yesterday but out of whipped icing. i hate when people order these tiered cakes and want whipped icing. whipped does not look good. and in this heat, if you use an air brush for color, it fades very fast. people don't care though. if i am paying money for a cake i want it to look good when i get to where i am going. i wish whipped wasn't an option for cakes.

this was really fun to amke. i love the flowers on it. when i started i only knew how to make roses but now that i am doing more kit cakes, i am learning how to make more flowers which is awesome. i love flowers and making them makes me happy! :)

this i was in a rush to make. not sure if i like it or not but the customer did and that is all that matters. it was to match a napkin...that is always fun! lol. i am also better at base icing 2 layers. one thing with using an already made up icing, is that sometimes it is hard. sometimes you can use it and sometimes you are better off to just throw it out. and sometimes it is hard to base ice anything when the icing is a bit dry...well that is all the time actually. i think i have gotten through the older icing that the other cake decorator used. she would leave the lid off all the time and dry out the icing, hense the reason why my hand hurt. it hasn't hurt since i have been using softer icing!

today we got a new order book for the customers to look at. it was like christmas for me! there were some cakes i had never seen. so i made a list of things i may want to order. one thing that i am proud to say is that compared to the other stores in town, we have the biggest variety of cakes to choose from. and that is a good thing!!!!

and that is it for now as blogger won't let me add any more. wonder what is up with that????

stupid meds!

i had been taking steroids for my hand. with decorating full-time, my had was hurting. i went to the dr to make sure it was nothing serious. tendonitis and tennis elbow. he gave me steroids. oh lord...i don't like them. day one i had hot flashes like no ones business. was sweating under the air conditione. i was more hungry than usual. day two, the same. day three brough massive mood swings. omg....i stopped. anger was really bad, this was sunday. what started out as a great day ended one hour after i took that friggin pill. it happened at night as well so i said that was it.

i really think the tendons in my hand are just getting use to decorating. my hand feels a ton better than it did. if i use really hard icing it will get bad so i don't do that any more. i really love my job and want to keep it so i am taking care and doing exercises, when i remember. i love how i can create with icing, just another medium to use to create art.

grrrr...i was trying to upload some cakes i've made lately but it won't let me. maybe tomorrow it will. it's crazy, i am now saying that i look forward to work and that i can't wait to go.i love playing with color and the different tips. i love how i am getting better at the air gun. i love how this girl loved her zebra print cake even though i thought it looked like crap.

the images still won't upload so i'll try tomorrow night.
later!

park time!

last night liam wanted to go to the park. we were on our way home from my parents. it was 8:30 and getting close to bedtime. so we said we'd go in to morning. he got all excited and clapped! we haven't been but once in the last month. the heat has been too bad to get out and do anything. heck, he hasn't even gotten into his pool. we've just been staying in and sometimes going for rides to cool off and to get out.

so this morning we went to mcdonald's because he wanted that last night too, and then to the park. and he played hard!

he loves the slide. he loves climbing up it too.

this is my favorite shot from today:

he wanted to run the basketball court. so we let him run and "slam dunk" a few "balls." he pretended he had a basketball and was dunking it. total crack up! then he found walnuts and threw those up and down the court.

love this shot of him in the plastic tubes.

he didn't want to get out....

at one point he waved his arm for me to stay back. there are a set of steps that are steep. nope...he didn't want any help. dude is getting big and mr. independent he is. i had fun watching him take off and play and play. he's getting to where we can sit and watch and let him go. he does his own thing.

pottying! we are doing great on pottying. he is officially out of diapers. we had to put one on him last night though as he had an accident and we were away from home. he wears pull-ups to bed. he gets so happy when it hears it actually going into the toilet. there are times when he doesn't "tuck it in" and it goes on the tub or into his shoes. lol.

i was with him in his room yesterday and noticed his baby carrier. i asked myself if i wanted to go back to when he was a baby. no.....i enjoy every step of this journey we are all in. every day is something new. i don't want to go back in time. i miss when i could snuggle him up to my neck but i can still do that even if he is 2. he's talking so much more. it's like he changes and grows over night. it's really an amazing experience. i love being a mom.i don't care that i had to wait so long. he's here now and that is all that matters!