sometimes......

i can't believe how lucky i am. i stop and think how happy i am. i realize that for the first time in nearly 20 years that i am totally in love in ways i never felt. i think about eric and think how lucky i am to have met him 13 years ago and how our relationship started based on a simple text. i don't think i could be any happier than i am right now. i think about our future and how wonderful it is going to be.

sometimes we are given things in life to teach us things. i had 17 years of ups and downs. some happy, mostly sad times. i have learned what to put into a relationship and what i should get out of it. how communication is the most important thing in a relationship. i know that i will over come my anxiety because now i have a reason to live and get on with my life. i used to think how i wanted my life over that it meant nothing. now when i think i want to stop it all i think of eric and how i could never leave him.

the universe brought us together. we were meant to be. when things are meant to be things are easier and more simple to explain. i smile more. i laugh more. i stopped and realize how happy i am more. i cherish each day i have with him. on our days off i can't wait to spend time with him. last night i went to bed before he did, he was watching a movie and i couldn't stay up any longer. i went to bed and felt lonely without him. i texted him and told him i missed him and felt lonely without him in bed. NEVER felt that before. heck, i slept by myself for the last 2 years.

my life has changed and is changing daily. i can't wait for what is coming and what may come. i can't wait till we can tell the world our exciting news once one little thing is out of the way. it's meant to be so i am calm and know it will happen fast.

god...i love being in love!