gonna get fit

wii fit that is. we finally took the plunge and bought it last night. i was walking around the store waiting for him to get off when i noticed we had 2 in stock. texted him and he said "let's do it." i am so hoping that this will motivate me to start the weight loss journey again. i gained 15 to 20 of the 74 i lost. i don't want to gain any more. maybe i can do this before work and then go to girlfriends after work. now that it is warm out when i get off, i will go to girlfriends nightly. i hate getting out in the cold.

got my 2peas stamp order yesterday. i was going to go to the crop today but was so tired when i got home last night that i went right to bed and didn't get up till 11am. sorry girls. i missed the last one too. hard to go when i have to be at work at 2 but i could go for a couple of hours and make cards. i will be at the next one!!!

need frames

i need some frames. i have been printing pictures to hang in my scrapbook room but never remember to buy frames. big lots has the best frames. they have a great variety and great prices. i still need to hang up pictures that i wanted to put up in my scrapbook room when i first got it done.

i remember as a kid tearing out pictures in magazines and taping them to my wall. i've always loved photography, colors and designs. i would tear out pictures of a tube of lipstick just because i thought it was neat. a lot of what i hung up was fashion oriented. at one point i wanted to go to school to work for liz claiborne. i loved fashion and somewhat still do. i also wanted to own or run a clothing store. i think that is why i like working in apparel so much is i am surrounded by clothes. i would love to be a department manager one day. that would rock!

speaking of work, time to get ready to go.

yesterday we went out and walked a 2 block radius uptown before going out to my parents for dinner. in that 2 blocks i got a lot of great shots. the flowers are my favorite. i'd love to find a place with a ton of flowers and go crazy with my camera!

still need to get dottie and vinny to the vet. need to cut his hair and they both need baths. drinking a monster to get the energy to do all of that. my 2peas order should be here today so i really should get out of the house before it comes or i won't get out lol.

loving stamp camp

2peas is having a stamp camp. it is awesome. i have gotten reacquainted with my stamps and mediums. i ordered 4 sets, only $12 since they are having an awesome sale. here is the card i made for this week's camp:

i tried to upload some layouts over a week ago but for some reason blogger was turning the photos. no matter how i put them in they were coming up side ways. so here are a few layouts i did.uggg this is still side ways. i don't know what the deal is.

i don't think it likes that one layout lol

today i plan on gettings things caught up around the house. creating a bit. my order from 2peas should be here tomorrow. eric and i are going out to mom and dads for dinner. i called mom and asked her to make some potato soup. i love her potato soup and started craving it at work the other night. going to be yummy, can't wait! got up a bit early. my body wants to get up and play while i want to sleep lol. but all is good! it's going to be a great day!

some new stampin up stamps

I got the "font for you" set this week and love it. these are the cards i made with the stamps:

now off to get ready for work. joy!
peace!

yay, 70 degrees!

it is going to be a great day. got up late. wanted to sleep due to a stressful week at work. pms has a rule it as well, the stress at work that is. lately my hours have been 25 to 28 a week. i have to ask to come in, which usually it is ok, but when i saw yesterday's schedule and 25 hours i freaked out. i talked to management and they will get it fixed. one can not live on 25 hours a week. wish i could get 40 but walmart doesn't hire fulltime any more. some departments like eric's will but very, very few. i would like to get 32 to 35 a week and then i am good to go. they are great to work with and i know it will be resolved on the next schedule or two. if it isn't on this one they will write me in on a day.

we are off to the deli to eat and then drive around, take pictures and shop. we got the rebate card in the mail for when i got the cell phone from alltel so we gots some cash!!! :) tomorrow is payday and we are down to like 2 bucks! bills, gotta love them!

off to get ready. stomach will be growling before long if i don't get some food in it!
peace!

Testing this out!

doin a little digi

i downloaded this from the new freebie at memory makers magazine. it is an awesome kit.

i go in at 5:30 so i am debating about what to do with my time. do i got to hastings and see if the last issue of simple scrapbooks is in (totally sad about that) or finish reading my book? i'm almost done. i want to see if walgreens has some good leave in conditioner for damaged hair. there is a jar at work that is marked down to $3 but i have never heard of the company so i don't know. money is tight this week so i will wait till thursday and get something that i know will work.

it's bright and sunny here. warm! going to mom and dad's for lunch tomorrow. eric's first family get together :) happy times!

peace!

Color Inspiration #49

Loved the colors this time. i cheated and used a piece of Daisy D's paper that matched the colors here. The stamp is from Hero Arts. A fun and simple card. I never used the technique to put ink on a clear stamp holder and use a blender pen to color in the image. Totally fun and I will definately do it again!

warning, lots of whining

yesterday we had a great day. we drove around and took pictures. i decided before we got into it to drive out of town some. went about 3 miles north. i wanted to go further but didn't know where there would be a turn spot in the road, i hate 4 lane highways with grass in the middle. so i turned around where i normally do. next we go west, towards coffeyville. i probably got like maybe 2 miles. turned around. didn't want to over do it and have a panic attack. eric has never seen me in a full panic attack and i really wish i could keep it that way but doubt it. so i turn around and there are no signs of 5 south junction. i freaked a little. on a scale of 1 to 10 maybe a 3. i was like "this is what it is like on the highway. nothing but road and land." while it felt good to realize this, i was also scared to.

on our way to my parents i was talking how this is going to take me forever. it is. it is going to take me months before i can get to coffeyville. months before joplin. don't know how long for girard. it is so frustrating and discouraging. i thought how did i ever let myself get into this mess? why did i let fear ruin my life and what i want to do? i know i must realize the past is in the past and i need to start focusing on today and the future. even though it will take me months to get where i need to, i will get there and this will be in the past for me.

i really don't know what is stopping me. i have searched in my mind and soul for what is the issue for not being able to travel for so many years. but i want to put all of that behind me. i want to go. i want to live my life. it is so hard knowing i have to work on this and go to work. i don't have the time or gas money to really put the effort i need in to this but i have to find away. a goal of mine is to make it to coffeyville for christmas. still a lot of time to work on it. that is a long term goal. short term, get to girard. i want to be able to take a day and just go somewhere different. not look at the same crap i see all the time, this town!

agoraphobia isn't fun. it isn't a joke or a lie. it is real. it cripples people's ability to live the life they want to live. why did this ever happen to me? i get cursed with not being able to have a successful pregnancy and this? 3 miscarriages and can't travel, suck ass big time. i hate it. don't want it any more. why can't someone take this away from me? all i ever wanted in my life was a family, go to family functions and go shopping in different towns. two things i wanted more than anything and is stopped by one word, fear. it really pisses me off that i let myself drowned in this. that i let it control me and take over my life. but in my defense, there wasn't any good treatment when i first realized i had this in 1990. no one knew about it. a dr in joplin gave me pills to help, that was in 1992. but no one has ever showed me or taught me how to get rid of the negative thinking. the thoughts of dread and dying. sometimes i really miss being back in church. the comfort of god and the lord around me. i try to find my own religion. i get annoyed by these so called "christians" that i back off and don't want to be a part of christianity but i do. i know that no one is perfect. i just can't stand the ones that proclaim to be all of that and back stab you, talk about you, curse, etc. they say they are examples...yeah right!

i am the happiest i have been in years. i have the love of my life. i have everything i have been looking for all my life. now to work on the traveling and find my spirituality. two big things that will take work but will be very rewarding in the end!

yay, warm weather

today we are going to get out and take pictures since it is warm. we haven't did that in a month and we are both missing it. not sure where we will go but this time i am driving so it could be anywhere, but close lol. *sigh*. we signed up to go to a roundtable meeting at work. a chance to express your opinions. not sure if it will work or not but worth a shot. i've never been to one so it will be interesting. it's the 20th at a hotel here in town with our marketing director. we'll see how it goes.

getting back into the gilmore girls. used to love to watch it. stopped watching it for really stupid reasons. now i record it everyday :)

let's see what else.....addicted to mafia wars on facebook. its a short game thank god or i will be on there all night. short as in you have to build up your energy once you do it will last somewhat longer lol. fun game though.

off to shower and begin the day!
peace!

signs

i enjoy taking pictures of signs and photoshopping them. here are some cool ones i found at flickr.
1. Save Gas Sign, 2. One sign fits all, 3. Renee's Salon of Beauty Sign, 4. Ignore This Sign, 5. Sign Eating Tree, 6. Confused Sign, 7. Warning Sign with Clouds, 8. Shop Sign, 9. What is this sign trying to say?

can't wait for tomorrow. well actually i can't wait to get off work tonight and come home. i really enjoy my times at home now. it used to be i wanted to work to avoid home. so many great things have changed in my life. what i used to hate i love now. i don't remember the last time i cried because i hated my life. i am so happy that i where i am in life now.

off to dry hair, put on makeup and get ready for my 5.5 hours of work tonight!
peace!

fun, new catalog

got a lion brand yarn catalog in the mail today. so of course i had to go to flickr and check out some crocheted stuff. now i want to make hearts!

1. Super Cute Crochet Kits!!, 2. Multicoloured Crocheted Bag, 3. Pattern for Crocheted Heart (Patroon voor Gehaakt Hart), 4. HK crochet Squares, 5. Crocheted potholders, 6. Crochet - work in progress, 7. Freeform Crocheted Scene, 8. crocheted heart valentines card, 9. Crochet ripple blanket - finished!

nuttin new

the only thing new is my hair. it went back to blonde and so glad i did. the gal that did my hair did a fantastic job on the highlights. it rocks! here is a photo from my phone, not too good but you get the picture.

the jury is still out about straight hair. not too sure if i like it or not.

hoping to hear from that magazine about wanting a couple of cards, shoot one would be good for me. i can't remember the name to save my life. it's one that i have never submitted to before. i tell ya, when you get older the memory IS the first to go. well that or saggy boobs!

peace, ya'll!

i think i know

we over eat for reason. it isn't because we just love food. a lot of people love food but are able to stop when they are fool. they are satisfied. they go on and totally forget about food. not me. food has been my crutch for so many years. when i was sad i ate. when i was lonely i ate. when i was depressed i ate. and on and on and on.....eating is my way to release what is inside of me.

so lately i had been thinking "why i am i still over eating?" aimee and i talked briefly about this at girlfriends. for me i think it is a couple of things. not being able to travel. not being able to say "sure, I will come" when someone says "hey, come and visit me." another thing is having a boyfriend. i am worried about my looks. how i dress. my hair. my makeup. i know eric doesn't care about any of that but i want to look good for him. he has seen my at my heaviest weight and when i lost the 74lbs. i make comments to myself all the time. when getting out of bed i am like "god i bet he thinks my ass is huge."

i am hard on myself. i know this and i want to stop it. i am not and never will be perfect. i will have bad hair days. i will have days when i am bloated and everything looks like a tent. not every day is paradise but it can be if i just let go of all that is in my head and live.

as far as the traveling. i know i will get out and get to places. i need to work on it. it still scares me to think of being hundreds of miles from home. it has been years and thinking of it makes me anxious. i need to get over it. i need to realize that home is where i am. i am not going to be stuck somewhere forever. i wish i could go to wichita and be there for carla as she goes through all of this with heath. be there to hold her hand and listen. i feel like people say "well you can't rely on rhonda, since she can't..... she won't be here."

i need to stop obsessing and just live. i wish it was easier said than done. man do i ever!