just a week to go

then we finally found out what we are having. i am not a patient person. this has been driving me nuts. i want to buy things and do but not a lot. more girl things actually. if it is a girl we are wanting the name payton reese. a boy liam...something. can't figure out a boys middle name yet.

i can't believe that when i found out in april that i wasn't really happy at all. i remember on mother's day we had a store meeting at work. during the meeting the manager said i was going to be a mom. i cringed. i wasn't excited. wasn't happy. i was tired. i wasn't on my meds. i felt like crap. once i started eating right and on my meds i felt a ton better. so, if i get pg again, i will stay on my meds and eat every couple of hours to keep my energy up. i didn't do that today though. only ate twice. not good. explains why i am tired but yet i am not ready for bed.

having a kid is scary. not just the birth process but paying for it afterwards. right now it is hard at times. i can't imagine what it will be like when its here. i want to be a better person so i can teach it the right way instead of a lot of things i am settled into. after 38 years here i have quite a bit experience but wish i did somethings a lot differently. i know that i will not let my kid be afraid of anything! maybe while i am teaching them that i can teach myself also.

so many things to do around the house to get ready for it. no energy on my days off. after working all week i just want to lay at home and veg. when is the nesting suppose to start cause it needs to be soon so i can get some stuff done :)

felt the baby move a lot today. one of thos days where i feel it a lot. tomorrow i am sure i won't feel it as much. that's how it goes right now. i'm just anxiously awaiting december and waiting for the next step of my life to start. here's to new beginnings!
peace!