word!

breathe

 from http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimklassen/4365786120/

just breathe. after the last couple of days and all that has happened, one thing i learned for sure is to just breathe....it will all be ok. with the help of my parents, his family and my friends, we got through one of the hardest things we have been through as a couple. when you put your trust and love into someone and it goes wrong, it hurts so bad. to be told hurtful things by someone that is suppose to love you unconditionally, your heart wants to explode with pain. breathe....it will be ok.

i have today off. eric has to work a short day shift. his mom is here to help us with liam when we had to work last night. so she is staying with me and liam today while eric is at work. i hope to get a little scrapbooking done today. i've been dying to play with my Slice. michaels had the Slice and its accessories for 40% off this week! no extra cash this pay period. work better give us more hours or things won't be good. eric is averaging 20 to 25, me 25 to 27. soooo things have to pick up and soon!

i can

taken from notebook doodles.

there were times in my life where i didn't think i could do much of anything. i didn't think i could be happy. i didn't think i could have a good job. i didn't think i would ever be truly loved. i doubted a lot in my life. anxiety does that to you. depression does that to you. for years i let it get the best of me. i let it determine the outcome before it happned, if it even happened. i didn't live the life i was suppose to. till now. till life starting changing 2 years ago.

i've always believed in a higher power. i started going to church when i was around 13. i knew that power of prayer. i knew god listened and he answered. i had seen and read many testimonies. i never thought i would have my own to share. god turned my life around when i needed a change. i had planned on changing things but couldn't do to fears and insecurities. i finally had enough. i prayed for a change. i got that change and it was great! it was when i met up with eric.

but my change didn't stop there. god proceded to listened and answered my prayers for a child. all during my pregnancy i prayed each night. always for a safe, smooth, painless as possible delivery. for a healthy baby. for each milestone that we needed to meet. all were answered. i have never had this happen. it's hard to explain. i've prayed but to see the results i did, it was amazing. i have a new faith that i didn't have before.

after all i have went through, good and bad, i am seeing that i can do things. i can get over these fears. i can have a happy life. i can be a good wife and mother. there will be no more can't in my life as i now know i can do whatever i set my mind to. yes, it does take time to realize all of this and i still have a lot more to learn. but i am so much stronger than i used to be. so much bolder. so much wiser.

plans. i have a lot of them. i plan on one more child. i plan on traveling again soon. i plan on writing a book, i started one years ago. i plan on raising my child to know no fears. to love everyone regardless of who they are. i plan on teaching him manners and respect. i plan on being a great wife to eric. all my dreams are coming true...now to sit back and enjoy it all!

where do i start? lol

a few things have happened this past week, well weekend! Eric asked me to marry him! i knew it was coming, you know a kid and all, but hearing it and how he did it was awesome. even though you know it is coming, you need to hear it...experience it...all that fun stuff! here's the ring:

i couldn't get a good picture on my finger. i so miss not having my canon rebel. hopefully one day i will be able to get one and take the pictures like i used to again. i'm getting two diamond bands to put on each side. we haven't set a date yet. i want it to be july 3rd but not sure about the heat and all. may shoot for september. we'll decide soon. it was so great how he did it. i was surprised even though i knew he was going to do it but i wasn't sure where, when or how.

our newspaper asked for love stories from readers. i submitted ours. i put it in on the 10th. it was so hard not to tell him. i can't keep things in. buying christmas presents and not giving them as soon as i get them...hard!!! but i didn't say anything and showed him at lunch with his family. totally surprised him. we spent the day with his family so they could catch up with liam. had a great time!

little man is getting so big. 8 weeks now! i tell you time is flying so fast! i had no idea it would be this fast. both grandma's gave him bears for valentine's.

i saw a baby online that had these adorable leg warmers. i thought there would be no way a boy would look cute in them. leg warmers are for girls! i googled them and found that boys are wearing them too. so i got a pair of knee high socks and made him a pair. they are so cute and so easy to make.

i sat him up in the recliner last night. now he loves sitting up on his own. my big man!!!

life as a momma is great! just need to manage my time a bit better. my first week back and my first days off was a bit of a change. didn't get a lot done that i wanted to. i wanted to scrap but haven't. haven't used my slice since i got it. well i made one flower for a layout i had done while back. hopefully the next two days off will be better.

little man is fussing. gotta run!

lots to talk about

but will update tomorrow. sorry.

so i did this.....

went to flickr!  i put in "happiness."

1. day051 :: Happiness, 2. Happiness, 3. Smiles = Award = Happiness, 4. Happiness.., 5. happiness is linking heaven and earth, 6. 41/365 the Happiness Project, 7. Happiness is..., 8. rush of happiness, 9. happiness

While he sleeps

day 2 of getting up at 7:30. i actually like it. i like the time i get with liam and then once he is asleep i can do somethings on the computer. can't do any house work as i don't want to wake eric up. i like the me time. he woke up fussy, just wanted momma to hold him, i did a digital layout.

i love this picture of eric and liam. i need a few pictures of liam and i together!

i can't wait for tomorrow. i feel there is going to be a lot of great things happening and a life changing one at that :). his family is coming down to stay the night. some major liam time for heather and the girls.

i have 45 minutes till eric is up. liam is asleep...off to do something till they wake up.

nothing new really

haven't had a chance to play with the Slice yet since I got it. since i am back to work i'm trying to adjust to everything. i thought i would be really tired right now since i got up about 6:45am this morning and didn't go back to sleep. but i am wide awake. i may get it out and play around with it. i have a few cards i want at 2peas for it.

eric and i are trying a routine for night time. i don't go back to sleep well, so he is getting up with liam during the night and i will get up around 7 to 7:30am and stay up. he will still sleep, if he can which i am sure he will, till i get up. this way i can get some sleep and he can too. work isn't as bad as i thought it would be. tonight i missed him like crazy though. everytime i hear a baby cry i think of him. people walk by with car seats...."i want my liam." so i will be glad to have 2 days off to be around my little man...and my big man too :)

omg...just realized my birthday is a month from tomorrow. i will be 39. i better enjoy this year bc next year isn't a good year lol

that's it for tonight.

Back to work

well i am back to work. it didn't go as bad as i thought it would. it was actually kind of nice to get out of the house and get off my butt :). i did miss liam terribly but it all went good. we went home at lunch and checked in. not much more to post. i am tired. its going to take a while to get use to work and having a newborn. i look forward to when he starts sleeping throughout the night.

and i am totally looking forward to sunday...our day off lol.

The Slice rocks!!!!

I played with it a bit but haven't made anything yet. I probably won't make anything till later on. need to clean the kitchen and bathroom then i will scrap. with my birthday next month i have my list going lol. yeah...it's all slice related! i've already been to 2peas looking at slice stuff.

liam just coo'd.....love that sound!!!

off to clean then play!

my Slice has arrived

I can not wait to use it! Hopefully tonight i will have some stuff to show ya! you gotta love making memories!

7 weeks, seriously

i can't believe my little man is 7 weeks old and i will be going back to work on wed. these 7 weeks have flown by. i have loved every minute of being a mom and look forward to all that is yet to come. i love how he looks at you and coo's while you change him. i love his little smiles. his toots out of no where. he is such a blessing to all of us.

here are some layouts i did in the last couple of days:

i buy this book to read: So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. i have heard a lot about her and wanted to get a book or two by her. this one i think will really help with the insecurities that i have and hopefully tackle the anxiety issues i have once and for all. i have read so many books, i can't help be think "is this just another book to read...get excited that i can overcome and live....and then weeks later be back to where i was. hopefully not. i have learned from all the books i've read over the years. no one has the answer, you must find it and if it take reading hundreds of books to find all the answers to live...i'll do it! now, don't get my wrong, life is wonderful right now. the best life i've ever had. but i want to get rid of the anxiety issues. the fears. travel again. be a great mother and wife. i can and will be.

some daddy/son shots

eric was holding an almost naked liam. totally cute so i had to get some shots.

my two guys....gotta love 'em!

what's been happening this week

eric went back to work. it was a little hard on me not having him around but his mom came and helped. liam and her had some good talks. he is really hamming it up lately and coo'ing more. a couple of days i just do my own thing, went to hastings, big lots....i tell ya, you need good arm muscles to carry around that car seat! last night i went to aimee's. carla came down. we sat around and talked. well they talked more than me. i had to have the bud shoot out on tv. :) carla got to meet liam. i had a great time! we laughed a lot, which we all needed. we watched "the hangover." that is a movie that we must buy. we've seen it before but wanted to watch it again. it is a riot!

i did a few layouts this past week. working on one now. i feel guilty at times working on stuff. eric watches tv and liam, but i feel i need to give him a break at times. here's what i work on:

i feel so sorry for the dogs sometimes. i know they feel left out. vinny doesn't do much any more. doesn't play. dotty barks for attention. breaks my heart. poor dogs. at least they have each other.

cause i'm in love

1. Valentine Overload, 2. valentine pebble, 3. Our Valentine's Day Cupcake candy cups, 4. my valentine heart, 5. Big Valentine Heart Cookies, 6. Valentine Heart-keh, 7. Valentine scraplings, 8. 2 Vintage Valentine Cards, 9. Free Wishing You True Love on Valentine's Day Creative Commons, 10. Happy Valentines's Day, 11. Happy Valentine's Day!!, 12. Photobooth Friday: Valentine's Day Card

i love those blue eyes

and a cute little belly button!

i'm so in love with him right now....it's awesome being a mommy!

i heart flickr

a few of my favorite things.....
the color of red for love.
signs. i love signs and photographing them.
baby boys. they rock! :) (btw, i would LOVE to have a crocheted hat for Liam. wish i could make one)

1. `paint the town red., 2. red dreams, 3. The Red Door, 4. Red mood, 5. 127/365 red borders, 6. Racing in Red., 7. Red and White, 8. Red......................., 9. Red 1.0

1. road sign. kelso, ca. 1999., 2. fallimentare, 3. Day One Hundred Five, 4. EXIT, 5. This Way, 6. GO.................!, 7. Right direction, 8. signboard, 9. Love in The Modern World...

1. glare, 2. Big smile, 3. My Son, 4. Gabriel, 5. Hanging With Dad - 1, 6. a pound of cure, 7. handle with care, 8. ::: the hat :::, 9. Cute overload

back to work

eric went back to work yesterday. it was a short day for him so it wasn't too bad being away from liam but today will be the worse, a 2 to 11 shift. i go back next week. i'll be there to keep him company as we both miss our little man. his mom is coming down today. we're going to scrapbook and play with liam. i got a few cool things at Big Lots for scrapbooking. it's hard for me to buy stuff elsewhere when they are so cheap. but i want some of the new stuff coming out and they won't have that till it's old lol. i'm always on the look out for boys stuff! i wish i like my handwriting but i just don't. i want to get used to using it. maybe if i write slower that would work????

wanted to write but just realized i have to be at the dr in an hour. so maybe more today.

yay! i am getting a slice!

I have wanted a slice from making memories for a long time. I finally ordered one and i can't wait to get it! i'm going to try it for 30 days and see how i like it. i'm glad i can do that in case i don't like it and then i am stuck with it!  i was a little bummed when i didn't make a digital design team but bounced back. i doubt that i will have time for teams once work starts again. i may only get one day a week to scrap, who knows, so i will need to use it for me and not someone else.

and i am totally excited about this. i won a book that i wanted since it came out...."52 scrapbook challenges" by elizabeth kartchener at kelly purkey's blog. i was shocked to see my post. i read it and was like "hey...that looks familiar." yeah, it takes me a while for things lol. yay for me!!! totally love the ideas that are in this book. i can not wait to get it!

little man turned 6 weeks yesterday. love how he is smiling more now and coo'ing. makes me one happy momma! i never thought i could love someone as much as i do him and eric.

cheryl's challenge for this week

I loved working on Cheryl's challenge for this week. Once i read the challenge i knew exactly who i was writing about, eric. i had him read it and he said, "why did you almost make me cry?" :) then he pointed out a few things. i didn't check the font after i changed it so there are ?'s where ' should be. i have no idea how to go in a change that once it is all done, a digital layout by the way. So here it is....?'s and all!

journaling reads: Life knows when you need a change. Life know when you can’t

go on any more. Life tries to give you all you need but along
the way it has to teach you lessons for you to learn…to make
you stronger, wiser, courageous. Life for the last 18 years was
a mountain. Struggling with anxiety issues, depression and a
very unhappy marriage that I was afraid to get out of because
I didn’t think I was strong enough to be on my own. Then life
said “ok, you’ve had enough. Let me bring someone to you
to bring you the happiness you deserve.” His name is Eric.



I had known him for 13 years at the time. Our friendship
became stronger. The one day we realized we loved each
other. There is so much about this man that has changed me.
But the one thing that made the difference in me was his love
for me. No one has given me the love that he has. The
compassion. The understanding. The faith in me. He is
always there for me from the simplest to the hardest.



Since we have been together he has helped me to grow. I
don’t fear like I used to. I have faith and believe in myself.
I know that I now that I am strong. I know now that I can
give my love to someone and not be afraid any more. Before
him I was so alone. I longed for something that I needed so
bad in my life. Now I have it. I have the happiness I deserve.
The peace I deserve. The love I deserve. It’s the little things
that he does that lets me know he loves me unconditionally.

I thank God for him. God brought him to me in a time of need.
I needed him. God knew. Life knew. Now we are together and
life is so much more livable because we are together.

Eric goes back to work tomorrow. I go back next week. Liam is 6 weeks old today. time is going by so fast. i don't want to leave him to go to work but i know he will be in good hands with tammy watching him. so glad to have a family member watch him then trying to find someone to watch him that i don't know. yesterday we went out to my parents to meet steve and tammy to give them all pictures from his little photo session at walmart. they were awesome i tell you. once i get them uploaded i will put them here. he is getting better with his car seat. i did get this pouting picture though....poor little guy :)

tired of all this snow but i did enjoy taking pictures of it, even though it was from a moving vehicle. if we had the chance, it would have been fun to get out and walk around to take upclose pictures in various spots in town. here are a few that i got that are my favorites:

i love the tree in this photo. one of my favorite things to photograph in the winter are trees. you can see the structures of the branches. Love it!

there's a lot i want to accomplish this week around the house before i go back to work. hopefully i will get some if not all of it done. yeah....i always put things off!