Saturday, January 28, 2012

able to breathe

what a week this has been. sunday wasn't good. i had a bad panic attack at walmart. the meds i had been taking for my cold/sinuses/cough make my anxiety bad. we ran over a bolt and had to get the tire fixed. now this is where i work. i know lots of people so why did i panic? i have no idea other than the meds affecting me bad. so i stopped taking them and i'm still getting better. i knew the meds would do this but how can you get over what i had without taking them? slowly but surely i am feeling better from both. it takes a few days from the memory of that attack and for the meds to get out of my body, then i'm good to go! usually after a bad panic attack it takes me a good week to feel good again. i get the "what if's" going through my head. once the memory leaves so do the what if's. anxiety and panic suck. that is all there is to it.

this week we got our taxes back. much needed. i can sigh a HUGE sigh of relief. we now have a good cushion in the savings account. i wanted to do that last year but since we had to buy a car we couldn't. but this year we can and it feels great. my hours are getting cut at work. eric's aren't any more. they were once. this week i have 16 and the next 2 weeks, 25. i don't worry too much since we have the money but i don't want to spend the savings money unless we have to. i'm not sure when the hours will go back up but it isn't too bad of a cut for me at 25. 16, ohhhh yeah!!! it is so nice to feel this relief. we have struggled since we were off when liam had his appendix out. but now we are good and it feels great!

there is so much i wanted to write this week but i haven't felt like doing it. a lot going through my mind but it's the usual that goes through after a bad panic attack. this attack was so bad that i don't remember a few things that happened. haven't had that bad of one in years. all i know is that i am so thankful to have eric and liam. they keep me going in times like this. they are my rock. love them so!

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