Sunday, March 28, 2010

"Your life: Making peace with your post-baby body"

catchy title, huh? i go to see what the your baby  "3 months, 2 weeks" has to see and see this. ugg. i really don't want to talk about post-baby weight. i had lost 26lbs. gained 10lbs from deciding to hit up pop again. a few years back i had lost 74lbs. one thing i really had issues with while pregnant was weight gain. i knew why i was gaining. knew it was for the best. but still had issues. i gained 35lbs. not bad i don't think. i really didn't watch what i ate when i was pregnant. i didn't eat a lot of sweets. didn't really eat more than usual. but here i am "3 months, 2 weeks" out and i hate the weight gain and want it off. honestly, the thought of having to lose weight again stresses me out. i know it is a lot of work. i know how good i feel when i do workout but time???? where do i find the time? once it gets warmer i will walk outside with him that will help me to lose some and get my energy back.

i wish i could accept myself and my weight. after losing the weight and gaining all but 30lbs of it, i feel anxious that the 30lbs will come back and i will be where i was 4 years ago. it won't be easy taking it off from here on out, age and all, so i must start if i am going to. but part of me doesn't want to. i want to be able to drink pop, eat a candy bar if i want. i did have candy when i had lost the weight. i never did deprive myself of anything, i just didn't eat a lot of it. but i want to look good. i want liam to have a mom that has energy to keep up with him. that can sit on the floor and play with the cars, trucks and tons of toys that will invade us here before long. and most importantly, look good for our wedding in september. *sigh*

must get a plan into action and follow through.

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