Friday, July 15, 2011

5 minute friday

today's word is a bit tough for me. thank god above, i haven't had a lot of loss in my life. the only loss that truly hits me are my 4 miscarriages. i never thought i would be able to have kids. i had 3 losses before i found out i was pregnant with liam. i was scared all the time. i was scared i would loss him just like the others. but god knew i needed him. god knew that the time was right for this little boy in my life. he is my miracle.

on new year's day this year i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. i thought it wouldn't have any problems since i had liam. two weeks later i was in the er confirming i had miscarried. by now i would have known if it was a boy or girl that would be arriving the first week of september. i wanted a sibling for liam. i didn't want him to grow up alone. i guess there is still time but after 4 losses i don't want to make it to 5.

liam is my everything. he is the joy of my life. the happiness that i needed after years of wishing for him. maybe one day i will get the courage to try again. but at 40 my changes of lossing another child goes up each year. so for right now i will enjoy this blonde hair, blue eyed little man!




1 comment:

highheartedly said...

I too have only one, without the miscarriages (I can only imagine! Oh bless your heart. Grace and peace to you.) and yet it is a wonderful one. Fear not, God who provides for many also provides for the single child family. Different needs, one God of abundant love. May he shower your family with his grace and peace.